Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-09-29
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?
Student answer (Band 4.5)
In several cultures a common argument is that if children work hard, they can get anything. Due to this thing, they can be motivated about what they want to do in their life. While in negative perspective, if they think that they are unable to acheive their goals then they will choose another wronge way to get it.
When we tell children that they can do or acheive anything if they work hard, then this thing encourages them to get their goals. In addition, they feel make abjectives that they must have to acheive them. For instance, if a father dreamed that his child get 1st mosition in his class, then his son work hard in whole year. AS a result, he got first postion becouse he is motivated by his father's dream.
Some time, children diverted to wrong and illigale paths to acheive their objectives. They think they must have to achieve their goals whatever they have to do. For example, a person want to become rich in his life and he
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 4.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.0 |
| Overall | 4.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0
The student attempts to address the prompt by discussing both advantages and disadvantages of telling children they can achieve anything. However, the response is severely limited by its length, containing only 173 words compared to the required 250 words. Because of this, the ideas are underdeveloped and the essay trails off abruptly in the final paragraph mid-sentence ('for example, a person want to become rich in his life and he...'). While the prompt is partially addressed, the significant under-length penalty keeps this criterion at Band 4.0. To improve, the writer must ensure they fully develop each body paragraph with complete examples and explanations, meeting the minimum word count requirement.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0
The response shows some basic attempts at organisation with paragraph breaks and transitional words such as 'While in negative perspective' and 'For instance'. However, the overall progression is heavily disrupted by incomplete sentences and a lack of cohesive control. Referencing is sometimes unclear, such as the use of 'Due to this thing' in the introduction. Paragraphing is present, but the final paragraph breaks off completely, failing to conclude the thought. Cohesive devices are used mechanically rather than flexibly. These issues reflect the Band 5 descriptors, where organisation is present but overall progression suffers due to inadequacy in cohesive management and structural completeness.
Lexical Resource: Band 4.0
The vocabulary used is basic and repetitive, with frequent spelling and word-choice errors that impede understanding. Examples of errors include 'acheive' instead of achieve, 'wronge' instead of wrong, 'mosition' and 'postion' instead of position, and 'illigale' instead of illegal. Phrases such as 'Due to this thing' and 'choose another wronge way' demonstrate a limited lexical range that is only minimally adequate for the task. The student attempts less common vocabulary like 'motivated' and 'objectives', but persistent inaccuracies place this performance firmly at Band 4.0.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.0
The student attempts a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, such as conditional-style clauses ('if children work hard, they can get anything'). However, grammatical accuracy is very weak, featuring frequent errors such as subject-verb agreement issues ('his son work hard') and tense inconsistencies. Furthermore, sentences are frequently non-standard ('they feel make abjectives that they must have to acheive them'), and the essay ends abruptly with an unfinished clause. Because errors are frequent and sometimes cause difficulty or confusion for the reader, the writing aligns with Band 4.0 descriptors.
See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.
Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.