Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-09-29
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?
Student answer (Band 6.0)
There can be numerous ways of motivating children. Adults in some cultures, teach children that anything in this world is achievable as long as they try hard enough. This perspective can have both advantages and disadvantages.
On the one hand, telling children that everything is possible can motivate them to pursue their goals even if they may find their objectives difficult to achieve. This makes them optimistic towards what they actually want to achieve. Moreover, this plays a pivotal role in their psychological development, defining how they face the hardships in the future and how persistent they can be. For instance, a child who wants to pursue music may face numerous obstacles. But if he knows in his mind that effort makes anything achievable he will strive hard and thought of giving up may never cross his mind.
On the other hand, children may overwork themselves in order to gain something. This can cause problems like sleeplessness and mental disturbance. Children may find themselves inferior to others after when comparing to others achievements. This can contribute to life long traumas that they might never be able to overcome.
In conclusion, children often being told that they can achieve anything with their effort is quite motivating. But its positive and negative aspects should also be delivered to them. So that they do enough to achieve their endeavours but when it falls out of reach they remain capable of quitting their obsession.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 6.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5
The response addresses both the advantages and disadvantages of telling children they can achieve anything with hard work. The position is clear throughout the essay. However, the ideas could have been slightly more extended and fully developed with broader examples. Furthermore, a strict penalty must be applied for length because the response contains only 240 words, failing to meet the required 250-word minimum. This prevents the essay from achieving a higher band score despite its clear attempt at all parts of the prompt. Taking into account both the task coverage and the length penalty, the task response is best placed at band 6.0.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5
The essay is logically organised into clear paragraphs, including an introduction, a body paragraph for advantages, a body paragraph for disadvantages, and a conclusion. Cohesive devices are used to guide the reader through the arguments, such as 'On the one hand', 'On the other hand', and 'Moreover'. Paragraphing is used sufficiently and appropriately, and referencing throughout the text remains clear. Although some of the transitions are slightly formulaic, the overall arrangement is coherent and easy to follow, successfully meeting the criteria for a band 7.0.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.5
The student uses an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, successfully attempting less common items such as 'pivotal role', 'psychological development', and 'obsessions'. There are some minor lexical slips and awkward phrasings, such as 'thought of giving up may never cross his mind' and 'after when comparing to others achievements' (which contains a preposition error). However, these vocabulary and word-choice errors do not impede communication. The lexical resource is generally sufficient and appropriate, aligning well with the descriptors for band 6.0.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5
The essay demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, including conditional structures like 'if he knows in his mind that effort makes anything achievable he will strive hard'. There are some punctuation and grammatical errors present, such as missing commas in complex sentences ('For instance a child...', 'So that they do enough...') and awkward phrasing ('children often being told'). Nevertheless, the grammar and punctuation errors rarely impede communication and the meaning remains clear throughout, supporting a band 6.0 score.
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