Band 7.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 7.0 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-09-30

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 7.0)

It is essential to motivate children and make them understand how hardwork is an integral part of success. While this would encourage the student to work hard and also help them gain confidence in themselves, this can also lead to children setting an unrealistic goal and working towards it even when exhausted.

It is universally known that, hard work is a non-negotiable path to achieving anything. Instilling this belief in children can be beneficial as it helps in building skills, fosters discipline and aids in overcoming laziness. Educating the children that they can succeed in anything if they try hard enough encourages them to set goals and work towards it. In fact, this helps them learn the importance of hard work and they would learn to put in effort instead of finding short cuts.

However, this has several disadvantages as well. This can lead to children overexerting themselves in order to acheive their goals. For example, if a person does not get the desired result after putting in all his efforts, he might not be able to accept this failure as he believes that working hard is enough to ensure success. Some times this leads to people falling into depression. In fact, World health Organization(WHO) states that burn-out often stems from the parenting and caregiving. Therefore, it is crucial to educate the children about how to accept failures and bounce back from it.

Therefore, it is essential to teach the children that although hard work is non-negotiable path to achieve anything, it alone doesn't guarantee success. There are several other factors that are involved.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 7.0

The response successfully addresses all parts of the prompt by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of telling children they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. The introduction clearly outlines the writer's stance, and both body paragraphs present relevant, extended ideas. The advantage of fostering discipline and avoiding shortcuts is well-argued, while the disadvantage is thoughtfully illustrated using the risk of overexertion and the insights of the World Health Organization. Ideas are well developed and supported throughout, satisfying the requirements for a Band 7.0.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 7.0

The essay demonstrates clear logical organisation and progression from introduction to conclusion. Paragraphing is used appropriately, with distinct paragraphs for advantages and disadvantages. Cohesive devices are employed reasonably well to link ideas, such as 'While this would encourage', 'It is universally known that', and 'However, this has several disadvantages as well'. However, referencing and transitions occasionally feel slightly mechanical, and the conclusion restates the view succinctly. Overall, the structural progression is clear, meeting the criteria for a solid Band 7.0.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.5

The student uses a sufficient range of vocabulary to allow some flexibility and precision, such as 'non-negotiable path', 'overexerting', and 'bounce back'. Less common lexical items are attempted with some awareness of style and collocation. However, there are minor lexical inaccuracies, such as 'how hardwork is an integral part' (spelling 'hard work' as one word) and 'acheive' (misspelling of achieve). Despite these minor errors, the vocabulary is adequate to convey the intended meaning clearly, aligning well with a Band 6.5 or 7.0 descriptor. We award a Band 6.5 for these recurring slips.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.5

The writer uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, demonstrating good control over subordination and relative clauses, such as 'Educating the children that they can succeed in anything if they try hard enough encourages them to set goals...'. There are some grammatical errors and awkward phrasings, such as 'Some times this leads to people' ('sometimes' should be one word), 'caregiving' lacking a determiner, and 'bounce back from it' where the pronoun 'it' lacks a clear singular antecedent ('failures' is plural). Nonetheless, these errors do not impede communication, supporting a Band 6.5 score.

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