Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-09-30

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In some cultures, people can teach their children to work hard to achieving anything in any field in their life because hard works compels motivation to child's nature and increase self-confidence. This essay will discuss the advantages along disadvantages of this message on children's behaviours.

To commence with the merits, the prominent one is that it gives motivation to never giving up towards future goals. In other words, children feel that if they give efforts to achieve something both in daily tasks or future goals, they will be suceed in future. For instance, children who believe that their efforts can change outcomes are more likely to engage in learning and problem-solving, which can contribute to both the personal and academic achievements. Furthermore, this approch fosters the self-esteem and confidence, as children may feel more ambitious to tackle any circumstance of their life.

Further shifting towards the demerits, this message can creates unrealistic expectations. To explain it, if a child constantly believe that hardwork will paid off, then they may become disillustioned in some conditions where the hardwork is not a primary concern and this will also effect mentally, leads to frustration. Additionally, there are some other factors as well important to achieve anything such as desire, talent, resources and external circumstances. Therefore, by spreading dillusional message among children will affect the mentally and physically.

In conclusion, although this statement fosters children confidence and will power, but this will creates unrealilistic expectation. Nevertheless, not only it affect person ability but also increase mental stress, while I believe this statement could spread with standard balance, as telling them the other main factors as well rather than only hardwork.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

The response addresses all parts of the task by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of telling children they can achieve anything through hard work. The position is clear throughout, and the main ideas are extended and supported. For instance, the discussion on the advantages includes points about motivation and self-esteem, while the disadvantages cover unrealistic expectations and mental stress. However, some arguments tend to over-generalise slightly and could be further elaborated with deeper examples. Overall, the task is well-handled and meets the requirements for a Band 6.5 to 7.0, fitting comfortably within Band 6.5 due to slight under-development in places.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The essay has a clear overall arrangement with a distinct introduction, body paragraphs addressing advantages and disadvantages respectively, and a conclusion. Cohesive devices are used to guide the reader, such as 'To commence with the merits', 'Furthermore', and 'Further shifting towards the demerits'. However, some referencing is slightly clumsy, such as 'this will also effect mentally, leads to frustration', and paragraphing, while present, contains some mechanical transitions. The progression of ideas is generally clear, but occasional clunky phrasing affects the flow. This performance aligns well with Band 6.0 descriptors.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

The student attempts a range of vocabulary suitable for the task, including items like 'disillusioned', 'motivation', and 'circumstances'. However, there are noticeable word-choice and collocation errors throughout the text, such as 'work hard to achieving' instead of 'achieve', 'hard works compels motivation', and 'spreading dillusional message'. Spelling errors such as 'suceed', 'approch', 'dillusional', and 'unrealilistic' also appear. While the vocabulary is adequate to communicate the main points, these inaccuracies restrict the score to a Band 6.0.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

The writer attempts a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, such as conditional structures ('if a child constantly believe that hardwork will paid off') and relative clauses. However, there are frequent grammatical errors, particularly regarding subject-verb agreement and word forms, including 'hard works compels', 'message can creates', 'hardwork will paid off', and 'this will affect the mentally'. Punctuation is generally acceptable, but grammatical inaccuracies frequently cause minor bumps for the reader. This demonstrates a solid Band 5.5 to 6.0 control of grammar.

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