Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-09-30

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 5.0)

Nowadays, in many cultures, parents told to their children that if they try hard they can get any achievement because hard work is the key of success and throh this children can get many advantages, which will be mention in upcoming paragraph.

To begin with advantages, chhildren can get success in young age. To elaborate, many children have a good memory and they can do any task in the given time period also their thinking level is different from others, which become unique of them and prefer to win in every situation, sch children can get sucess. For instance, many children participating in Chess compititions and they won that compitition. Moreover, can improve communication skill. To explain a better communication skill is very important and wuth hlp of this children can improve communication skills, such as if they participate in summitts they can learn from others.

On the other hand, it can be tough for children to preusurise to achieve something ecause due to pressure their performance will affect, not only acadamic but also in any compitition. Furthermore, students can get health issues. To explain many parents pressurise their children to get any position but it can lead health issues among the children.

In conclusion, there are may advantages of try hard, while it can be health issu for children.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

The response addresses the prompt by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of telling children they can achieve anything with hard work. However, the ideas are relatively undeveloped and lack sufficient supporting evidence. Furthermore, the response falls significantly short of the 250-word minimum, containing only 220 words. This under-length impacts the overall development and completeness of the task. While the student identifies points such as achieving success at a young age and experiencing pressure or health issues, these points are repetitive and superficial. Consequently, the task achievement is limited by both the length deficiency and the lack of fully extended ideas, placing it firmly at the lower-middle tier of the scoring scale.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The essay is organised into paragraphs, featuring an introduction, body paragraphs for advantages and disadvantages, and a brief conclusion. However, the overall progression is somewhat hindered by repetitive phrasing and awkward transitional markers, such as 'which will be mention in upcoming paragraph.' Paragraphing is attempted, but the internal cohesion within paragraphs relies on basic and repetitive connectors. Referencing is occasionally unclear, such as when 'this' or 'such children' are used without strong antecedent connection. While there is a visible attempt to structure the essay logically, the mechanical nature of the cohesive devices and the lack of smooth transitions prevent it from reaching a higher band level.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

The student uses a limited range of vocabulary that is minimally adequate for the task. There are frequent spelling and word-choice errors, such as 'throh' for through, 'chhildren' for children, 'compititions' for competitions, 'wuth hlp' for with help, 'summitts' for summits, and 'preusurise' for pressurise. These errors occasionally strain the reader's comprehension, although the general meaning of the text can still be deciphered. Attempts to use less common vocabulary, such as 'communication skill' or 'academic', often result in inaccuracies. The vocabulary is repetitive throughout, relying heavily on basic terms like 'children', 'success', and 'advantages'.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The essay displays a very limited range of grammatical structures. Simple sentences dominate, and attempts at complex structures are frequently faulty or ungrammatical, as seen in the opening sentence: 'parents told to their children that if they try hard they can get any achievement because hard work is the key of success'. There are frequent errors in tense usage, word forms, and basic sentence construction, such as 'parents pressurise their children to get any position but it can lead health issues'. Punctuation is also weak, with run-on sentences and missing commas. These persistent errors cause noticeable difficulty for the reader and prevent the response from achieving a higher score.

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