Band 4.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.0 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-09-30
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?
Student answer (Band 4.0)
Childern are the roots of every society.however childern can belief hardwork can lead success is common in every society.childern are often told they can achieve anything they can tyr hard enough.I will discuss advantages and disadvantges of this topic in detail.
The first advantage is motivation.the childern can believe try to hard work and we are achieve anything.for example a student believe he can become a doctor so he try work hard and belive in hard working and one day he become a brilliant doctor.the main reason is beleive of him and hard working. the childern are try hard enough he can achieve often anything
the disadvantages ofthe heading is not every goal is achiveable only by hard working.talent luck and opportunitis also matter
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 4.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 4.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.0 |
| Overall | 4.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0
The student attempts to address the task by briefly identifying some advantages and disadvantages of telling children they can achieve anything through hard work. However, the response is severely underdeveloped and falls well short of the 250-word minimum, containing only 124 words. Due to this significant under-length, the ideas cannot be fully extended or supported as required for higher bands. While the mention of motivation as an advantage and factors like talent, luck, and opportunities as disadvantages shows some connection to the prompt, the limited elaboration restricts the score. Under the official descriptors, this level of development aligns best with a Band 4.0, as the response addresses the task only minimally and lacks adequate extension of ideas.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0
The essay lacks proper paragraphing, with multiple distinct points crammed together into a single block of text following the introduction. Cohesive devices are either missing or repetitive, and referencing is frequently unclear, such as in the sentence 'the disadvantages ofthe heading is not every goal...'. The logical progression of ideas is hindered by the lack of clear transitional phrases and structural breakdown. There is no clear overall progression of argument, which is characteristic of the Band 4 level where information and ideas are not arranged cohesively. Improving paragraph structure and utilizing a wider variety of conjunctions and discourse markers will be essential for boosting this score in future writing tasks.
Lexical Resource: Band 4.0
The student's vocabulary is very basic and repetitive throughout the text. Words like 'childern', 'society', 'hardwork', and 'achieve' are used repeatedly without variation. There are also frequent spelling errors, such as 'childern', 'belief', 'tyr', 'disadvantges', 'beleive', and 'opportunitis'. The range of vocabulary is limited and minimally adequate at best, often causing strain for the reader. Because the errors in spelling and word choice are noticeable and impede smooth reading, the response fits the Band 4.0 descriptors closely. To improve, the student needs to expand their lexical repertoire and practice accurate spelling of common academic terms.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.0
Grammatical structures are extremely limited, consisting mostly of simple and frequently flawed sentence forms. There is a lack of control over basic syntax and punctuation, demonstrated by lowercase beginnings of sentences, run-on clauses, and severe structural errors like 'the childern can believe try to hard work and we are achieve anything.' Complex sentences are attempted but are faulty and distort meaning in places. Errors are very frequent throughout the short text, which matches the Band 4 descriptor where errors are frequent and may occasionally distort meaning. A stronger foundation in basic sentence construction, verb tenses, and punctuation rules is urgently required.
See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.
Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.