Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-09-30
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?
Student answer (Band 5.5)
In some culture, children are encourage that they can achieve any thing if they working hard. There are several advantages and disadvantages. This essay will discuss both.
On the one side, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try working hard. There are various advantages that younger get concentrate on specific goal. This can develop there concentration toward the specific goal and stay positive towards the challenges, and can learn from the failure. For example. A student want to get scholarship to get study abroad. If student working hard with planning and completed all the requirements. As a result, student get awarded by scholarship to full fill his dreams.
On the another side, this concept aslo create unrealistic plans in children mind because hard working is not guarantee you to get better future. Succes also depend on the financial circumstances, natural abilities, and opportunities.Children migt feel frustated after working hard and not acheive goal. For example, a children may repeatedly told that you will become a football player if they working hard enough. However, with training they might not success because professional sports wants physical ability, opportunities and strong motivation. If children fail to acheive the goal that migh disappointed and believe that they did not work hard enough.
In conculsion, encouraging children that they can achieve anthing but planning is essential for children to make in advance and stay strong in every situation, while if children repeatedly listen to any thing they might frustrated if they not acheive the specific goal that is why children work on their own goal not listen to any body working hard and one day they will acheive their goals.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5
The response addresses both the advantages and disadvantages of telling children they can achieve anything with hard work. The position is generally clear throughout the essay. However, the ideas are somewhat repetitive and lack deeper extension, placing it firmly in the Band 6 category. For example, the advantage of helping younger people concentrate on a specific goal is mentioned, but the explanation remains superficial and relies on a somewhat disjointed example about a scholarship. Similarly, the disadvantages touch upon financial circumstances and natural abilities, yet the supporting points are underdeveloped and obscured by grammatical errors. To reach a higher band, the student should expand upon ideas with more coherent reasoning and distinct examples rather than looping back to the same points.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5
The essay presents a clear overall arrangement with a traditional introduction, body paragraphs addressing each side, and a conclusion. However, cohesion is often mechanical and faulty. Phrases like 'On the one side' and 'On the another side' demonstrate awkward collocation and inaccurate transition usage. Paragraphing is attempted, but the final conclusion is a run-on sentence that jumbles multiple thoughts together, hindering clear progression. Referencing is also weak at times, such as 'younger get concentrate' and ambiguous pronoun usage ('his dreams', 'that migh disappointed'). While the logical sequence of ideas is sufficient to follow the writer's general argument, the execution of cohesive devices is frequently clumsy, warranting a Band 5.5 score.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.5
The student demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, touching upon relevant concepts such as 'financial circumstances', 'natural abilities', and 'unrealistic plans'. However, there are frequent word-choice errors and incorrect word forms throughout the text, such as 'culture' instead of 'cultures', 'any thing', 'working hard' instead of 'work hard', and 'migt feel frustated'. Uncommon vocabulary is attempted but often marred by morphological or collocation issues (e.g., 'professional sports wants physical ability'). Despite these errors, meaning is generally conveyed without major impediment to the reader. This performance aligns with the Band 5.5 descriptors, where lexical limitations and noticeable slips are consistently present.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0
The essay displays a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, but grammatical control is weak. There are frequent errors in verb forms, subject-verb agreement, and sentence structures, such as 'children are encourage that they can achieve', 'If student working hard', and 'children may repeatedly told'. Punctuation is also problematic, particularly in the conclusion where multiple independent clauses are fused into a single run-on sentence without proper punctuation or conjunctions. While some simple sentences are error-free, the high frequency of grammatical slips in complex structures prevents the writing from achieving a higher band. These persistent errors place the grammar score at a solid Band 5.0.
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