Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-09-30

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 5.5)

People often encourage children by telling them that they can accomplish anything if they are determined and willing to put in extra effort. Although this approach has some disadvantages, I believe that its advantages outweigh them.

On the one hand, reminding children their potential and ability to win can help them. However, continuously reminding them that they should win develops unknown anxiety. For example, if there's a competition next day children already feels heavy, and asking them to win it at any cost wont help them, instead it develops anxiety out of fear of self doubt.

On the other hand, people who constantly encourages children that they can win is a big advantage. Sometimes, all they need is a person who sees their effort and word of encouragement. For example, right before a competition, right people with words of encouragement will boost their confidence and eventually helps them to win. Moreover, telling them if they put extra effort and try harder, they might achieve anything is the best way to help the child.

In conclusion, I think advantages outweigh disadvantages, because constant encouragement to try harder and put extra effort helps them achieve anything without fear and self doubt.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

The response addresses the prompt by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of telling children they can achieve anything. However, the length requirement of 250 words is not met, as the student's response contains only 199 words. This under-length impacts the full development of ideas, restricting the response to Band 5.0. While a clear position is established and maintained, the arguments lack depth and extension. For instance, the paragraph addressing disadvantages mentions 'unknown anxiety' and 'fear of self doubt' but fails to elaborate on how these manifest in a child's psychological development. Similarly, the advantages are discussed in broad terms without concrete supporting evidence beyond generic competition scenarios. To achieve a higher band score, the writer must ensure the word count exceeds the minimum threshold and extend their ideas with more detailed explanations and specific examples.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The essay demonstrates an attempt at logical organisation, utilizing standard transition markers such as 'On the one hand', 'On the other hand', and 'In conclusion' to signal shifts in the argument. Paragraphing is generally appropriate, separating the introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. However, cohesion is sometimes faulty or mechanical. For example, referencing is occasionally unclear, as seen in the sentence 'people who constantly encourages children that they can win is a big advantage', where grammatical mismatch and vague pronoun reference disrupt the flow. Progression within paragraphs is also limited due to repetitive phrasing and abrupt transitions between ideas. To improve, the student should ensure smoother logical links between sentences and maintain tighter control over referencing and conjunctions.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

The student uses an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, attempting some less common phrases such as 'determined and willing to put in extra effort', 'fear of self doubt', and 'words of encouragement'. However, there are noticeable lexical inaccuracies and awkward word choices throughout the text, such as 'children already feels heavy' instead of feeling burdened or stressed, and 'right people with words of encouragement'. Word formation errors also occur, such as writing 'encourages' instead of 'encouraging' in a relative clause. Spelling is generally accurate, but the limited control over collocation and imprecise vocabulary restrict the score to Band 5.5. Expanding lexical resource through precise collocations and higher-level synonyms will help elevate future essays.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The response features a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, demonstrating attempts at subordination and conditional structures, such as 'Although this approach has some disadvantages, I believe that its advantages outweigh them' and 'if there's a competition next day children already feels heavy'. However, grammatical accuracy is inconsistent. There are frequent errors in subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'children already feels', 'people who constantly encourages'), missing articles (e.g., 'next day', 'right people'), and punctuation. While these errors do not completely impede communication, they occur frequently enough to hinder readability. To reach a higher band, the student must exercise better control over basic grammatical structures, ensure agreement, and reduce the frequency of mechanical errors.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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