Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-10-01

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Many cultures believe that to achieve anything hard work is very important; thus, children are often told that anything is achievable if enough hard work is carried out. This essay will point out both advantages and disadvantages of giving this advice to children.

On one hand, advising children to do enough hard work to achieve anything makes them feel more confident and strong. In addition, it helps children to stay consistent to their work and build self-discipline. For instances, if a kid is working hard to achieve his desire or goal it helps him or her to face challenges, learn from mistakes which could make him or her a better person in academics as well as personally in the future. Furthermore, poor kids who do not have good family conditions and suffers from lack of knowledge can feel confident and work hard to achieve his goal.

On the other hand, always telling children to try hard for their success or goal can have some negative points. Children might feel more pressure and it also produces stress from working hard. Moreover, if they try too hard and still fails it can broke their confidence and children blames themselves for the failure which creates a negative impact on them. Also, not everything depends on only hard work, other factors like luck, support and proper knowledge also play a vital role in achieving something and advising them to only work hard while gnoring other factors can also impact their growth.

To conclude, children should be told to do hard work to achieve their goals and desires because it benefits them to build confidence, self discipline but they should also given right information including other factors like luck and family condition and possible outcomes so they can handle failure gracefully and try to get better.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

The response successfully addresses all parts of the task by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of telling children that anything is achievable through hard work, thereby presenting a clear position throughout. Ideas are relevant, such as building confidence, self-discipline, stress, and the role of other external factors like luck. However, some ideas remain slightly under-developed rather than fully extended. For instance, the point regarding poor children without good family conditions is introduced but not fully elaborated to show how the message specifically impacts them. To reach a higher level, all main points require deeper explanation with more fully realized supporting arguments and examples.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The essay presents a coherent overall arrangement with a clear introduction and conclusion, as well as distinct body paragraphs dedicated to advantages and disadvantages respectively. Information is logically sequenced, and the progression of ideas is generally clear. However, cohesion at times feels somewhat mechanical or basic, utilizing standard connectors like 'On one hand,' 'On the other hand,' and 'In addition' repeatedly. Referencing is also occasionally unclear, such as the use of pronouns that lack distinct antecedents. To achieve the next band, the writer needs to employ a wider range of cohesive devices more flexibly and ensure that paragraph transitions are smoother and less formulaic.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

The vocabulary used is adequate for the task, providing a minimally sufficient range of terms to discuss the topic clearly. The writer attempts some less common vocabulary items, such as 'self-discipline,' 'gracefully,' and 'consistent,' showing an awareness of appropriate terminology. However, there are notable word choice and collocation inaccuracies throughout the text, such as 'do enough hard work' instead of 'work hard,' 'suffers from lack of knowledge' where subject-verb agreement or phrasing is imprecise, and 'gnoring' (spelling error for 'ignoring'). Additionally, phrases like 'negative points' and 'broke their confidence' demonstrate limitations in lexical precision that prevent the score from rising further.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

The response demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, attempting various clauses to express ideas. There is adequate control over basic sentence forms, and punctuation is generally functional. However, there are several errors in grammar and mechanics, including subject-verb agreement issues like 'suffers' instead of 'suffer', pronoun-antecedent number mismatches such as 'children... blames themselves', and tense or voice slips like 'they should also given right information'. These errors represent recurring flaws typical of this band level, where complex structures often contain noticeable inaccuracies. To improve, the writer must strive for greater accuracy in complex grammatical patterns and agreement rules.

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