Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-10-01

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. In my view, this can be advantageous, as it can give children a strong sense of self-belief, though it also has drawbacks.

Telling children that they can achieve anything if they try hard can be a strong benefit, as it. Builds self-confidence and self-esteem from an early age; many parents try to motivate children at an early age so that they reach for the stars. For instance, some experts say that if parents encourage their children at an early age, then their brains develop this mindset early, and they are able to find their goals at a younger age. Another reason why parents tell their children that hard work leads to achievement is that nowadays more and more children are becoming famous, which is why parents try hard to prepare their children for psychological resilience. For example, many parents do this because they want their children to become doctors or engineers. That is why, from an early age, they tell their children that if they work hard, they will achieve success.

There are some drawbacks of this statement, as it can lead to disappointment or low self-worth when goals are not met. Many parents set goals for their children in advance, and if these goals are not achieved, it can lead to many mental health problems. For example, many parents wish for their children to achieve certain goals, but at an early age, children cannot understand what they truly want later, when they notice that their own goals do not match their parents' goals, they face many issues.

In conclusion, in my view, it is good to encourage children to try hard from an early age, but if parents set goals for them too early, this can later cause many issues and mental health problems instead, parents should tell their children what is beneficial and what is harmful for them.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

The response addresses all parts of the prompt by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of telling children they can achieve anything. However, the development of ideas remains somewhat limited and repetitive. For instance, the discussion on advantages mentions building self-confidence, but the reasoning circles back to early encouragement and famous people without fully extending the argument. Similarly, the disadvantages focus heavily on mental health and unmet parental expectations, but the explanation lacks specific exploration beyond general statements. The position is generally clear throughout, but the lack of deeper elaboration and fully supported arguments keeps this response at the current level. To reach a higher standard, the writer needs to extend each main point with more detailed examples or broader consequences rather than relying on brief, repetitive explanations.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The essay presents a coherent overall arrangement with a recognisable introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Paragraphing is utilised to separate the advantages and disadvantages, which helps organise the content. However, the progression of ideas is occasionally hindered by repetitive phrasing and mechanical cohesive devices. For example, the transition between sentences relies heavily on basic connectors like 'For instance', 'Another reason', and 'For example', sometimes used repetitively within the same paragraph. Additionally, referencing is occasionally unclear, such as in the third body paragraph where the transition from children's goals to parents' goals becomes slightly tangled due to run-on phrasing. To improve cohesion, the writer should employ a wider variety of transitional phrases and ensure that referencing pronouns clearly link to their intended antecedents, creating a smoother flow between sentences and paragraphs.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

The vocabulary used is adequate for the task, demonstrating a minimally sufficient range to discuss the topic of child-rearing and ambition. The writer attempts some less common vocabulary, such as 'psychological resilience', 'self-esteem', and 'low self-worth', showing an awareness of topic-specific terminology. However, there are notable inaccuracies in word choice and collocation, alongside occasional awkward phrasing, such as 'this statement' when referring to the message given to children, or 'reach for the stars' which is slightly idiomatic for formal academic writing. Spelling and word formation are generally controlled, but the limited variety of precise lexical items sometimes restricts the depth of the argument. To achieve a higher score, the writer needs to incorporate a wider range of sophisticated vocabulary with greater precision in collocation and avoid repetitive phrasing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

The text displays a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, attempting complex forms such as conditional clauses ('if parents encourage their children', 'if these goals are not achieved'). However, attempts at complex sentences are frequently marred by punctuation errors, specifically run-on sentences and comma splices, as seen in the second paragraph ('...as it. Builds self-confidence...') and the third paragraph ('...truly want later, when they notice...'). Grammatical control fluctuates, with some basic structures remaining accurate, but frequent errors in punctuation and clause connection cause occasional difficulty for the reader. To progress, the writer must focus on sentence boundaries, avoiding comma splices and ensuring that complex clauses are correctly punctuated and grammatically integrated to enhance overall structural accuracy.

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