Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-10-02

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 5.5)

in recent years, children are often told by thier elders if they work hard they ended up by achieving their particular goal has become increasingly common in many part of the worlds. Although this development offers several advantages, it also has certain disadvantages. This essay will discuss both the benefits and drawbacks of working hard to fulfil goals by doing anything before reaching a conclusion.

one significant advantage of acheiving dreams by commitment is polishing child for brighter future as well as strong personality. This is mainaly because it boosts child to work on particular goal with passion and energy. For example, majority of students attempts MDCAT every year from government and private colleges but majority of private colleges pupil promoted. Because colleges offers session of boosting up their learners along with studies. They prepare them to consume all their energies to crack the test. Conversely, government students faces lack of guidence about making their dreams into reality due to poor leadership.

Despite these benefits, this approach also has some notable drawbacks. The most significant disadvantage is that if this kind of children can't achieve their expected results they becom disheart. This effect both their mental and physical health. They can't face failures in their lives. For instance, the students who worked hard and did not passed MDCAT. They often got stressed. most of them are not even ready to appear in repeat exam. Consequently, they ended up getting enrolled into B.A and BS which may ruin their dreams of becoming a healthcare proffesional.

In conclusion, although dedication and passion are signifacant factors to become succsssful , it also presents certain challanges, such as mental and physical stress . Therefore the advantages and disadvantages of this development should be carefully considered.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

The response addresses all parts of the prompt by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of telling children they can achieve anything through hard work. However, the treatment of these ideas remains somewhat limited and under-developed. For instance, the discussion on advantages introduces the MDCAT example, but the explanation regarding how private versus government colleges handle motivation lacks clarity and depth. Similarly, the drawbacks are introduced with the risk of disappointment, but the progression from failing the exam to enrolling in alternative degrees lacks full elaboration. The position is generally clear throughout the essay, but the supporting arguments tend to rely on generalized assertions rather than being fully extended.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The essay displays a coherent overall arrangement with a clear introduction and conclusion, and the response is divided into logical paragraphs. However, cohesion is sometimes faulty or mechanical. While basic cohesive devices such as 'Although', 'Despite', and 'In conclusion' are employed, referencing and linking within paragraphs can be unclear or repetitive. For example, the transitions between sentences in the body paragraphs often feel abrupt, and the relationships between ideas are not always smoothly maintained. Paragraphing is used sufficiently to separate the introduction, advantages, disadvantages, and conclusion, but the internal flow of ideas lacks seamless progression.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The vocabulary used is limited but minimally adequate for the task. The writer attempts some less common vocabulary, such as 'commitment', 'passion', and 'professional', but these are accompanied by noticeable errors in word choice, word form, and spelling. Examples of lexical inaccuracies include 'acheiving', 'mainaly', 'guidence', 'becom disheart', 'signifacant', and 'succsssful'. Furthermore, phrasing such as 'polishing child for brighter future' and 'appear in repeat exam' shows awkward collocations. While these errors do not completely impede communication, they cause some difficulty for the reader and prevent the lexical range from appearing more flexible.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The writer demonstrates a limited range of structures, relying on a mix of simple and complex sentence forms. Attempts at complex sentences are frequently faulty, leading to frequent errors in grammar and punctuation that can cause difficulty for the reader. There are recurring issues with subject-verb agreement, such as 'children are... thier elders if they work hard they ended up', missing articles, and awkward prepositional use. For example, phrases like 'in many part of the worlds' and 'government students faces lack of guidence' exhibit foundational grammatical inaccuracies. Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with sentence boundaries and clauses.

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