Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-10-02

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 6.5)

The message that children can achieve anything if they try hard has many advantages. With this message the children will be motivated to pursue something they otherwise deem too difficult. If a child is in the middle of a task or an activity they may give up on it after a few attempts this message encourages them to put more effort in achieving their goals. The purpose of the message is to encourage a child to keep going. Children tend to lose interest in things early on this message keeps them engaged. It keeps them focused on the task at hand.

The message has its disadvantages as well. If a child does not succeed at something he/she may assume it is because they lack effort. This leads to lower self-esteem and confidence. Children may work hard for something and if the desired result is not achieved they will blame themselves for not working hard. This leads to a cycle of burnout and anxiety along with many other many mental health problems. The message meant for encouragement will eventually lead to discouragement and leading c.hildren to give up on their activities. Due to lower self-esteem issues they may not start a task thinking their hard work is just not enough. The child may think of themselves as failures which is the opposite of the desired outcome. It leads to a continous cycle of negative self talk and an outcome where children may stop taking initiative altogether even in things they previously loved to do.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

The response addresses all parts of the task by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of telling children they can achieve anything. The position is clear throughout, and relevant ideas are presented, such as motivation, perseverance, reduced self-esteem, and burnout. However, some ideas are more fully developed than others; for instance, the discussion on the psychological impacts like burnout and anxiety is somewhat repetitive rather than extended with specific examples or deep elaboration. To reach a higher level, the ideas would need more extensive support and thorough exploration rather than circling back to similar points about low self-esteem.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The essay presents a coherent overall arrangement with a clear division between advantages in the first paragraph and disadvantages in the second. Progression is generally logical, as seen in the transition from children losing interest to staying focused. However, the management of cohesive devices is at times mechanical or lacking in variety. For example, sentences often begin abruptly without sophisticated transition words, and referencing can feel repetitive with frequent use of phrases like 'the message' or 'this leads to'. To achieve a higher score, the writer needs to employ a wider range of cohesive devices more smoothly and organise the text into more distinct paragraphs for better visual and logical flow.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

The vocabulary used is adequate for the task, allowing the writer to communicate their points effectively. There are attempts to use less common vocabulary and phrases related to psychology and education, such as 'self-esteem', 'burnout', and 'negative self talk'. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation, such as 'lead to a cycle of burnout and anxiety along with many other many mental health problems', where phrasing becomes slightly redundant ('many other many'). Spelling and word-form control are generally fine, but to progress, the writer should incorporate more precise, higher-level lexical items and idiomatic phrases with greater natural control.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

The response demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, utilizing structures like conditional clauses ('If a child is in the middle of a task...') and relative clauses. There are some errors in grammar and punctuation, such as run-on tendencies and punctuation omissions (for example, missing commas in compound structures or separating independent clauses without proper conjunctions, as seen in 'Children tend to lose interest in things early on this message keeps them engaged'). Nevertheless, these errors rarely impede communication. To move up, the writer must demonstrate a higher frequency of error-free complex sentences and finer control over punctuation and sentence boundaries.

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