Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-10-02

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 5.5)

inspiration, motivation, success, hardwork

crimes, unncessary dreams , pester parents, health problem

In a slew of contries, it is often said to children that they will be successed in anything if they strive hard. This kind of motivation have both merits and demerits in both their personal and academic life.

On the one hand, inspiration always help children to be confident on themselves. When children get motivation and inspiration from others, it works as a medicine for them. They get strength to work harder and puss them for struggling to a higher extent. As a result, the path of achieving their goals became easy and simple. For instance, if any student fail in exams, giving inspiration instead of insulting or pressurizing them would be fruitfull for overcoming their lackings. Nevertheless, they may decide to committing suicide or they may become mentally broken.

On the other hand, this kind of message may sometimes bring out some drawbacks. Sometimes, over-confidence makes chilkdren arrogant and because of competeting attitude, sometimes they missbehave with others. Furthermore, children often pester their parents to buy something which is out of their hands. Consequently, parents have to buy the product for their children which dive them into debt. It collapsed their moral value and gravitates towards illegal activities. Additionally, when they work hard for getting good marks in exams, often they become mentally and physically weak. In fact, when they can not success in their goal they become frastrated and can not accept this failure which breaks down their confidence overtime.

In my opinion, however, motivation is a key factor to success, children should be also learned to accept both failure and success. They should know how to win with modesty and lose with gratitude. Furthermore, they must be taught that what is necesssary for them and what they should avoid as their parents have some financial brackets.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

The response successfully addresses all parts of the prompt by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of telling children they can achieve anything. A clear position is maintained throughout the essay. However, some ideas are more fully developed than others. While the advantages, such as building confidence and providing strength, are adequately explored, certain disadvantages are less thoroughly extended or are somewhat extreme, such as the sudden leap to committing suicide when discussing exam failure. To reach a higher level, the ideas need more sustained, balanced elaboration and more realistic supporting arguments without relying on dramatic overstatements.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The essay presents a coherent overall arrangement with a clear identifiable structure, utilizing standard introductory and concluding paragraphs alongside distinct body paragraphs for advantages and disadvantages. Nevertheless, cohesion is at times mechanical or faulty. The transitions and referencing can feel repetitive or abrupt, such as the opening bullet-point lists which are not integrated into the text properly, and the cohesive devices used between sentences occasionally lack smooth logical progression. Improving the flow between ideas and ensuring referencing is consistently clear would enhance the overall readability and cohesion of the response.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The vocabulary used is adequate for the task, demonstrating an attempt to incorporate less common items and topical phrases related to motivation and success. However, there are noticeable spelling and word-choice errors that occasionally cause difficulty for the reader, such as 'contries', 'successed', 'hardwork', 'puss', 'chilkdren', 'competeting', 'missbehave', and 'frastrated'. While the writer attempts a varied lexicon, these inaccuracies in word form and spelling prevent the response from achieving a higher score. Expanding precise control over collocation and ensuring accurate word formation are key steps for improvement.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The essay demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, attempting various grammatical structures to express arguments. However, there are several errors in grammar and punctuation throughout the text, including subject-verb agreement issues like 'This kind of motivation have' and 'it collapsed... and gravitates', as well as prepositional and structural slips such as 'confident on themselves' and 'decide to committing'. Although these errors rarely impede overall communication, their persistent presence across different sentence types places the grammatical control firmly at this level. Increasing structural accuracy and reducing basic agreement errors will elevate the grammar score.

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