Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-10-02

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In numerous cultures, youngsters are often told that they are able to gain anything whether they try consistantly. In this essay I will provide the summary of both side its merit and demrit.

On the one hand letting free to the pupil helps them to push their potiential toward their goal. Moreover they will get oppurtunity to acquire knowledge about struggle and self control. For example, If learner is intrested in singing their faimly should encourage him for his passion. As a result one day after his consistant hard work could bring sucess in his life.

On the other hand if we do not set any boundary for learners it can lead them bad addiction and criminal activities. Addition to this they could consume drugs, alcohol and weeds. Furthuremore their involvement toward voilance and snatching can rise. For instance, Once there was a person named Sultan he was well known by the world as Docoit. His mother set no boundries for him moreover when he brings looted capitals his mother encorage him at last he was hanged by the government. Therefore, restriction can prevent them from such serious crime.

In conclusion, On the one side it provides confindance and encouragement toward their goals and target. On the other side its leads them involvement in crime and bad habits.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

The response addresses the prompt regarding the advantages and disadvantages of telling children they can achieve anything, but it is underdeveloped and fails to meet the length requirement, sitting at 218 words against the 250-word minimum. The position is somewhat evident, but the ideas remain limited and lack adequate extension. For instance, the discussion on advantages briefly mentions motivation and self-control, while the disadvantage section abruptly jumps to extreme criminal behavior and introduces a specific anecdotal example about a bandit named Sultan. This tangent shows limited focus on the general societal or psychological disadvantages of the mindset. To improve, you need to fully develop your main points with broader, relevant explanations and ensure you write at least 250 words.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The essay displays some overall organization with clear paragraph breaks and basic cohesive markers such as 'On the one hand', 'Moreover', and 'In conclusion'. However, the progression is occasionally disrupted by mechanical or faulty referencing. For example, transitional phrases like 'Addition to this' and the repetitive use of formulaic opening structures indicate a rigid approach to cohesion. Paragraphing is utilized to separate the introduction, advantages, disadvantages, and conclusion, but the internal logical flow within paragraphs needs more sophisticated linking devices. To reach a higher band, ensure smoother transitions between ideas and avoid abrupt shifts in your arguments.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The vocabulary used is limited and minimally adequate for the task. There are noticeable errors in word choice, spelling, and word formation, such as 'consistantly' instead of consistently, 'demrit' instead of demerit, 'potiential' instead of potential, and 'voilance' instead of violence. While the writer attempts less common vocabulary like 'confindance' and 'encouragement', these inaccuracies and spelling mistakes cause some difficulty for the reader and impede clear communication. To achieve a higher band, you must expand your lexical range, learn correct spellings, and focus on precise word choices and natural collocations.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The text demonstrates a limited range of sentence structures, and attempts at complex sentences are frequently faulty. There are persistent errors in articles, prepositions, verb forms, and subject-verb agreement, such as 'whether they try consistantly', 'letting free to the pupil', and 'its leads them involvement'. Punctuation is also problematic, including missing commas after introductory phrases and run-on structures. These frequent errors can cause difficulty for the reader. To improve your grammar score, work on mastering complex sentence formations, correct prepositional usage, and ensuring accurate agreement throughout your sentences.

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