Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-10-02

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Some of the cultures holds up to a same medium of instruction for the children, which is if they work hard they will achieve anything in their life.

Subsequently It is very true but everything has a down or bad side to it. Considering only the positive impact of a certain saying limits it arguebility.

Till date there are some cultures who are very motivated toward the statement of giving your best every time you try to achieve something. This is called the domino effect which states that if a person is instructed with certain ideas in a young age it will stay with him for a lifetime. It is very important for children itself because that is the learning age for any indivisual so motivating him in this way will make him much versatile in life. The argentinian player Lionel Messi is a perfect example of it.

There are also cons to it, scaring children at early age might cause internal traumas. Some parents are very strict with their children and keep pushing them without knowing the nature of the child. If the child nature is to learn a particular acitivity very fast as compared to other so parent must allow him to do work in that particular field. for example if Sachin Tandulker parents were strict and kept him focus only on studies then we would not have seen such a great cricket legend.

I personally think that parent are the only figures who can decide wether their kids would win in life or lose. I think they should keep a good balance of both, they can reward their children even if they achieve something small also so that will give them a sense of confidence also in life. for example my friend had a strict father like that, he wanted to persue something else in life and his father kept on pressurising him to become doctor hence he became a doctor but at what cost.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

The response addresses all parts of the prompt by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of telling children they can achieve anything with hard work. The position is clear throughout the essay, introducing relevant ideas such as lifelong motivation and the potential for internal trauma or parental pressure. However, while some ideas are extended well—such as the mention of Lionel Messi or the personal anecdote about a friend—others remain under-developed or briefly stated. To reach a higher band, the writer needs to fully develop all main points with deeper elaboration and clearer examples rather than moving quickly between thoughts, ensuring every argument is thoroughly explored from introduction to conclusion.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The essay presents a coherent overall arrangement with a recognizable progression from introduction to body paragraphs and a personal conclusion. Paragraphing is used to separate distinct points, such as the pros in the second paragraph and the cons in the third. However, cohesion is sometimes mechanical or faulty, with abrupt transitions like 'Subsequently It is very true' and referencing that is not always clear, such as ambiguous pronoun use ('it will stay with him'). Furthermore, cohesive devices are occasionally misused or inadequate to smoothly guide the reader between contrasting ideas. To improve, the writer should employ a wider and more natural range of linking words and ensure seamless transitions between sentences and paragraphs.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

The vocabulary used is minimally adequate for the task, demonstrating an attempt to use less common items and subject-specific concepts such as 'domino effect' and 'versatile'. However, there is a noticeable presence of word choice and word-form errors that reveal a limited range, such as 'arguebility' instead of arguable, 'indivisual' instead of individual, and 'persue' instead of pursue. Spelling errors and inappropriate collocations—like 'scaring children at early age'—occur throughout the text. While these inaccuracies do not completely impede communication, they restrict the lexical score. Incorporating more precise vocabulary and checking word forms will help elevate this criterion.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The response displays a limited range of sentence structures, relying heavily on simple forms alongside occasional, frequently faulty attempts at complex sentences. There are frequent errors in grammar, articles, agreements, and punctuation throughout the text, such as 'Some of the cultures holds', 'at early age', and 'if the child nature is'. Punctuation is also weak, particularly regarding capitalization and sentence boundaries, as seen in 'Subsequently It is very true'. Although the meaning remains mostly discernible, the high density of grammatical inaccuracies places the writing firmly in this band. To progress, the student must focus on mastering basic subject-verb agreement, article usage, and constructing error-free complex sentences.

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