Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-10-02

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 5.0)

While, talent is naturally, they show people abilities skill. in some culture, many persents should advise for our childrens they say it if you are achieve goal so you are very hard work in study or exctra. i will give the both view point. hard work is more important to achive goal.

Firstly, in culture, many people say often hard work is more essential for children. hard work is build strong growth and mindset. it need to children's because it improve their study level and knowledge. for example it can easily achieve way like doctors and c.A and others. moreover, That can create confidence boosts and self- estem y making children belive their our stiil level. i is mostimportant to achieve goal. for example, confidents is more essential for childrens because it easily achieve goal.

on the other hand, if students work hard they can effect on mental health and they can creat healh problem. so it may be dangoures for learners. hard work is take very time so pupill does not play and does not spent family time. and always they focus on study. in addtion, always hard work is not important because hard work after they achieve goals not same pattern. many different way such as, only focus on 2-3 hours study in daily day. it improve significantly our study. and it long term membrable topic.

overall, i discuss my view, hard work is important in many ways like doctor or CA. but many time students hard work after they does not achhive goals.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

The response addresses the prompt by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of telling children they can achieve anything with hard work. However, the treatment of the task is partial and ideas remain limited and under-developed. The student attempts to outline benefits such as confidence boosts and skill development, and drawbacks like mental health impacts and time constraints, but these points are expressed in a repetitive and overly generalized manner. While a position is vaguely discernible, the lack of well-supported arguments and the presence of disjointed thoughts prevent the response from achieving a higher level of task fulfillment. To improve, the writer needs to expand on specific ideas with clear, coherent explanations and relevant examples rather than relying on fragmented assertions.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

There is some basic organization apparent through the use of paragraph breaks and introductory signposts like 'Firstly' and 'on the other hand', but the essay lacks a clear overall progression. Cohesive devices are frequently inadequate, inaccurate, or repetitive, making the flow mechanical and sometimes difficult to follow. For instance, referencing is frequently unclear, as seen in phrases like 'it need to children's because it improve their study level'. Paragraphing is attempted to separate advantages from disadvantages, but the internal logical links within paragraphs are weak and ideas jump abruptly without smooth transitions. To advance, the writer must work on using cohesive devices more accurately and ensure that each sentence logically builds upon the previous one to maintain a clear line of argument.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

The vocabulary used is limited and barely adequate for discussing this topic. There are noticeable lexical errors and inappropriate word formations that frequently cause difficulty for the reader, such as using 'persents' instead of parents, 'chidlrens' instead of children, and 'healh problem' instead of health problems. The range of vocabulary is restricted, relying on basic terms and repeating words like 'hard work', 'achieve', and 'goal' throughout the text. Spelling and word-choice errors are prominent, including instances like 'dangoures', 'pupill', and 'membrable'. To reach a higher standard, the student needs to build a wider range of vocabulary, pay closer attention to word formation and spelling, and avoid the constant repetition of simple terms by incorporating more precise and appropriate lexical items.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The grammatical range is severely limited, consisting mostly of simple and attempted complex sentence forms that are frequently faulty. There are frequent errors in verb forms, tenses, subject-verb agreement, articles, and prepositions within grammatical patterns, such as 'talent is naturally, they show people abilities skill' and 'always hard work is not important because hard work after they achieve goals not same pattern'. Punctuation is also erratic, with inconsistent capitalization and sentence boundaries. These frequent errors disrupt the reading process and often obscure the intended meaning. To improve, the writer must focus on mastering basic sentence structures, ensuring correct verb tenses and agreement, and reducing the density of grammatical errors that impede communication.

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