Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-10-02

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In some cultures, people are often advice kids to work hard and do their best to accomplish whatever they want. While this can be beneficial in terms supporting and encouraging children, it also includes consequences like bad influence and can effect their learning ability. This essay will explore both the advantages and disadvantages before giving my opinion.

On the one hand, the major advantage of this message is the freedom. This would allow them to learn and select any field they want in future for academic or career; furthermore, such people often come with innovative and creative ideas. If parents, teachers, and adults suggest and appreciate children to try hard enough, this will encourage them to go beyond their limit and achieve their goals. Therefore, people must guide and cooperate with their kids and support them to hustle.

On the other hand, this may have consequences including mental stress and disappointment. This message would pressurize children's mind and lead to damage their psychological health due to a massive burden. If they were unable to achieve the success eventually, it would affect and disappoint them indeed. Moreover, it can influence detrimentally on kids, while demonstrating them to work hard for anything they want. For example, many juvenile crimes were occurred by those kids who did not have the proper guidance for working hard.

From my perspective, adults must guide and help kids in any difficulties they face in studies or daily life, rather than just telling them to try hard enough. However they must encourage and give confidence to them to endeavour.

In conclusion, why telling kids to try hard enough to get anything have benefits like establishing creative minds, it can also be detrimental for them mentally. In my opinion, I believe that the disadvantages outweigh the advantages, if proper assistance will not be given.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

The response addresses all parts of the task, discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of telling children they can achieve anything. However, the development of ideas remains somewhat limited and under-developed, placing the response in the mid-range. While the introduction outlines both sides and the conclusion states a clear opinion, the supporting points lack depth. For instance, the paragraph on disadvantages mentions mental stress and disappointment, but then drifts into vague assertions about juvenile crimes without clear logical extension. To reach the next level, the ideas need to be more fully elaborated with stronger, more convincing explanations and more detailed real-world examples.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The essay presents a coherent overall arrangement with a clear paragraph structure. Each main idea is separated into its own paragraph, and the essay follows a recognizable pattern from introduction to conclusion. However, cohesion is sometimes mechanical and referencing is occasionally unclear. For example, phrases like 'this would allow them' and 'this message would pressurize' rely heavily on demonstrative pronouns without always making the exact antecedent entirely transparent. Furthermore, cohesive devices such as 'furthermore' and 'moreover' are used, but the overall progression between sentences could be smoother. To achieve a higher band, the writer must use a wider variety of cohesive devices more flexibly and ensure that referencing within and between sentences is consistently precise.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

The writer demonstrates an adequate vocabulary range for the task and attempts less common items such as 'detrimentally', 'endeavour', and 'psychological health'. However, there are noticeable word choice, collocation, and word form errors that occasionally impede communication. Examples include 'people are often advice kids' (where 'advised' is required), 'effect their learning ability' instead of 'affect', and 'influence detrimentally on kids' where the preposition usage and verb form are awkward. Spelling and lexical slips like 'juvenile crimes were occurred' also appear. To improve, the writer needs to expand their control of word forms and collocations, ensuring that less common vocabulary is used with greater precision and stylistic awareness.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, demonstrating an attempt at complex structures such as conditional clauses ('If they were unable to achieve the success eventually...') and relative clauses. However, there are frequent errors in grammar and sentence structure that can cause some difficulty for the reader. Issues include subject-verb agreement problems, incorrect passive voice constructions ('crimes were occurred'), and awkward phrasing within dependent clauses. Although the errors rarely obscure the central meaning entirely, they are frequent enough to prevent the response from achieving a higher mark. To progress, the writer should focus on mastering complex sentence patterns, eliminating basic grammatical errors, and refining tense consistency.

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