Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-10-03

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 6.5)

A child's principles, morals and beliefs can vary from culture to culture and country to country. Some cultures advise their children that anything can be achieved with hardwork. I believe this message have both positive and negative impact, and it is only effective if balanced well.

There are several advantages of suggesting children to work hard until they achieve their goals. As a result, children adopt discipline and work hard for their vision. They do not procrastinate or keep delaying their tasks. They set their priorities and follow a schedule. They develop an optimistic mindset where they don't wait for miracles to change their life. They treat failure as a part of success and become more resilient. For instance, I worked hard throughout my grauduate studies, didn't skip a single class, and completed assignments on time. Consequently, I won several competitions, earned fully funded scholarships and finally received a gold medal.

On the other hand, this message can have detrimental impact on children's mental health. They often misinterpret and work tirelessly and not smartly. As a result, they experience exhaustion and burnout. Additionally, it is not always the hard work that open doors, but one's intelligence and the way the approach the task matter as well. Moreover, the factor of luck also plays a significant role, no matter how hard you try, sometimes you aren't able to achieve things that seems far easier. For instance, my friend worked hard throughout her life and her resume was exceptional. She was confident that get fully funded scholarship for postgraduate studies. However, she couldn't secure any and that made her fall into depression. She was so demotivated that she never applied to scholarships ever again.

Admittedly, hard work is a key to success, but there is a group of skills and qualities that matters as much. There will be times when hard work won't give immediate results, but one should realize that failures are the best teachers. There is a famous quote that: "One fails thousand times before they finally succeed." Hence, trying hard without expecting too much is the best approach to succeed in life because miracles happen the most when you expect the least.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 7.0

The response addresses all parts of the task by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of telling children they can achieve anything with hard work, presenting a clear position throughout. The ideas are generally extended and supported, such as when detailing the personal benefits of discipline or the psychological pitfalls of burnout and unrealistic expectations. However, there is a tendency to over-generalise in parts, such as the claim that failure stems purely from bad luck or lack of smart work, which prevents the response from reaching a higher band. The progression of ideas is logical, and the writer successfully balances the positive and negative impacts as outlined in the introduction.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 7.0

The essay demonstrates a clear logical organisation and progression throughout. Each paragraph has a distinct central topic, moving smoothly from the introduction to the advantages, the disadvantages, and a well-considered conclusion. Cohesive devices are used flexibly, including transition signals like 'As a result', 'Additionally', and 'Hence'. Paragraphing is managed effectively, with each main body paragraph dedicated to a single theme. While referencing and substitution are generally clear, occasional mechanical transitions prevent the cohesion from being entirely seamless, keeping the response firmly at this level.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.5

The writer demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary for the task and attempts less common items with some awareness of style and collocation, such as 'optimistic mindset', 'detrimental impact', and 'fully funded scholarships'. However, there are some noticeable vocabulary and spelling errors, such as 'hardwork' (written as one word), 'grauduate' (graduate), and awkward phrasing like 'the way the approach the task' and 'open doors' which lack precision. These lexical inaccuracies and minor spelling lapses do not impede communication, but they restrict the score, as greater precision and fewer slips are required for a higher band.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

The essay displays a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, demonstrating attempts at varied structures such as conditional and concessive clauses. There are several errors in grammar and punctuation, including subject-verb agreement issues ('this message have both positive and negative impact'), missing articles ('is not always the hard work that open doors'), and minor prepositional or punctuation slips (such as the double space and missing auxiliary in 'She was confident that get fully funded scholarship'). While these errors are noticeable, the structures are varied enough and the errors rarely impede communication, reflecting a solid command of basic structures alongside developing control of more complex forms.

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