Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-10-03
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?
Student answer (Band 6.0)
In many cultures, children are taught that they could achieve anything in life if they do enough hard work to attain that. This fact is debatable among many people, as some say it's necessary to teach the children this, some might argue that it has a few drawbacks. We would further discuss the pros and cons of teaching this to children from an early age.
Starting from the positive impact, children will understand this from a younger age that hardwork is the key to everything. In this way they will learn the values of honesty by doing everything correctly and in the right way. For example, if you tell a children that if you clean your room you would get $10, if you clean both your room and washroom, you will get $15. This thing makes the children understand the value of hardwork and they will get a result if they do enough hard work.
Additionally, this will also have a positive physcological impact on children as they grow. They won't refrain to get diverted to other wrong ways to earn money or achieve anything with a incorrect method, since this cultural value will be developed so deeply in mind within the children that they couldn't get lured to other illegal ways. Certainly, this also depends on the childs company of friends and the environment of schooling and home but learning the value of hardwork from young age prevents them from thinking into the wrong direction.
However, this could impact the children negatively if they aren't taught about the wrong things to prevent. Since children are naive, they don't know what's right and wrong and due to this they might start getting attracted to do hard work to achieve negative things such as making small chits to cheat in an exam. They might think this hard work would get them to their desirable outcomes.
Finally, I would conclude the essay by mentioning that teaching the children that they would achieve anything if they work hard enough is not wrong in many cultures but at the same time parents should lead as an example and clarify children that what is morally right in this case and what's wrong.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 6.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0
The response addresses all parts of the task by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of telling children they can achieve anything through hard work. However, some ideas are more fully developed than others. While the advantages receive a clear explanation regarding work ethic and psychological impacts, the disadvantages are somewhat limited and under-developed, relying on a minor example of cheating to illustrate the negative side. The position is clear throughout, and relevant ideas are presented, though a more balanced and thoroughly extended exploration of the drawbacks would be needed to reach a higher level.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5
The essay displays a coherent overall arrangement with clear paragraphing, moving logically from an introduction to positive impacts, negative impacts, and a conclusion. Cohesive devices are used to guide the reader, such as 'Starting from the positive impact,' 'Additionally,' and 'However.' While the logical flow is generally maintained, some referencing and transitions feel slightly mechanical or repetitive, pointing toward the characteristics of this band level where overall progression is evident, but cohesive management lacks the seamless flexibility of higher tiers.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.0
The writer demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, successfully attempting less common items and phrases such as 'psychological impact,' 'illegal ways,' and 'desirable outcomes.' However, there are noticeable inaccuracies in word choice and spelling, such as 'physcological' and 'a incorrect method,' alongside awkward phrasing like 'the childs company of friends.' These errors do not seriously impede communication, but they reflect a limited and developing lexical control that prevents the essay from reaching a higher band.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5
The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, demonstrating attempts at subordination and varied structures. There are several grammar errors and inappropriate prepositions present, such as 'do enough hard work to attain that,' 'tell a children,' and 'get diverted to other wrong ways.' Punctuation and articles also show occasional lapses. Nevertheless, these errors rarely impede communication, and the sentence structures remain generally understandable, aligning well with the expectations for a mix of accurate simple sentences and faulty complex attempts.
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