Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-10-03

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 6.5)

A common advice that people often give to their children is that they can become successful if they try their best and put sufficient efforts for making their dreams true. This belief varies highly because it has several advantages and disadvantages, which I will briefly cover in this essay.

Advocating children regarding working hard offers significant advantages to individuals, espcially children. It fosters motivation among them that build their confidence and helps stay consistent in every task. Moreover, such suggestion let them believe that they can dream anything they want and get their hands on by staying dedicated towards practices, which may help them achieve all those things. For instance, a recent study from a survey at one of the primary schools in the United States of America reported that children having sufficient parental guidance and assurance led them secure higher grades as compared to the children who did not get enough councelling. Therefore, continuous praise and support plays a crucial role in the succession of goals.

However, although such councelling benefits children in achieving their dreams, it also offers few disadvantages that significantly impacts children's lives. There are children who does not have enough potential and might get hurt when they do not obtain their desired results despite every single effort they make. In addition, fostering such ideas sometimes becomes dangerous because of uncertainty that lies in several areas of our lives. For instance, constant pressure of achieving goals followed by failing to prove their worth can lead to suicidal thoughts and dangerous actions. Therefore, excess motivation can sometimes becomes harmful and cause emotional frustration.

In conclusion, motivating children that they can achieve anything they want does have multiple benefits, it also has inevitable disadvantages that might cause severe harm to children as well as socities. Therefore, positive councelling can play a big role in the development of childrens' ability to set and achieve their desired goals.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

The response successfully addresses all parts of the task by exploring both the advantages and disadvantages of telling children they can achieve anything. A clear position is maintained throughout the essay. However, some ideas are more fully developed than others, which places the task response comfortably at the mid-level. For instance, the advantage regarding motivation and consistency is well-supported with an example from an American primary school survey. On the other hand, the disadvantages, such as the potential emotional frustration or pressure leading to severe consequences, are introduced but remain somewhat under-developed and would benefit from further elaboration to reach the next level.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 7.0

The essay demonstrates a clear logical organisation and progression throughout. Information and ideas are coherently arranged into well-defined paragraphs, each with a distinct focus. You make effective use of cohesive devices to guide the reader, such as 'Moreover', 'However, although', and 'In conclusion'. Referencing is generally clear, and paragraphing is used appropriately to separate the introduction, advantages, disadvantages, and conclusion. While cohesion is at times slightly mechanical rather than entirely seamless, the overall arrangement provides a smooth reading experience that meets the criteria for this band level well.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

The vocabulary used is adequate for the task, providing sufficient range to discuss the topic clearly. You attempt less common lexical items such as 'councelling', 'succession of goals', and 'emotional frustration'. However, there are noticeable inaccuracies in word choice, collocation, and word forms, such as 'A common advice' (uncountable noun), 'put sufficient efforts' (collocation error), and spelling inconsistencies like 'councelling' and 'socities'. These errors do not impede communication, but they reflect an adequate rather than flexible lexical resource. To improve, focus on precise word forms and natural collocations.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

The response features a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, including relative clauses and conditional structures. There are some errors in grammar and punctuation, such as subject-verb agreement issues ('There are children who does not have') and prepositional errors ('advocating children regarding'). Nevertheless, these errors rarely impede communication, and the majority of sentences are clear and understandable. To move up to higher bands, you should aim to increase the frequency of error-free complex sentences and ensure tighter control over grammatical agreements and plurals.

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