Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-10-03

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 5.0)

Hardworking is very essential to achieve any goal in our life.Undoutbtedly, working hard is very paramount to becoming a successful person in any field such as in business, school, society, competition etc. Every culture has their own opinion for achieving anything. Every society have their own training ways for childern to obtain higher positions.

At the one hand, giving the massage to childern that if they work hard, than they able to get anything in their life that's beneficial for them and this guidance promote them to become a victorious in his life. For instance, if the childern are focus on a particular target and work hard for it, according to the instructions from their home than they easily achieve anything in their life. Moreover, outline of hard working source of motivation for young people.

At on another hand, working hard has lot of disadvantages such as stress, sickness, brain tumour etc. An other key factor is, if a child does not have ability to work hard, he will become a disgrace in his neighbourhood and people will not give him importance.Which would be embarrassing and adverse for him. Although, he is best in any other field however, he considered a lazy, not hard working boy in their society.It is a symbol of ignorance and bad influence on any culture.

In conclusion, working hard is essential for success that can't be denied however, it should be give another way to success for lazy or uninterested persons instead hard work.According to my observation, hard working not enough for positive outcome, its also depends on the luck of childern.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

The response addresses the task partially, covering both the advantages and disadvantages of telling children they can achieve anything. However, the ideas remain quite limited and under-developed. For example, while the writer mentions stress and sickness as disadvantages, these points are not elaborated upon with sufficient explanation or examples. The position presented is somewhat unclear, shifting from discussing motivation to concluding with a mention of luck rather than fully synthesising the arguments. To reach the next level, the writer needs to extend each main idea more thoroughly, providing deeper explanations and more specific supporting details for both the positive and negative aspects discussed.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

There is some organisation in the essay, with distinct paragraphs attempting to introduce the topic, advantages, disadvantages, and a conclusion. However, there is a lack of clear overall progression, and the logical flow between sentences is occasionally disjointed. Cohesive devices are used, but they are sometimes inaccurate, repetitive, or awkward, such as 'At the one hand' and 'At on another hand'. Paragraphing is attempted, but the internal cohesion within paragraphs feels mechanical and basic. To improve, the writer should employ a wider and more accurate range of transitional phrases and ensure that referencing is clearer, allowing ideas to progress more smoothly from one point to the next throughout the text.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The vocabulary used is limited and minimally adequate for the task, featuring noticeable errors in word choice, word formation, and spelling that occasionally cause difficulty for the reader. Examples include 'Hardworking' instead of hard work, 'Undoutbtedly', 'childern', and the awkward phrase 'outline of hard working source of motivation'. While the writer attempts some less common vocabulary such as 'victorious' and 'adverse', these are often used inaccurately or with incorrect word forms. To achieve a higher score, the writer needs to expand their lexical range, pay closer attention to collocations and parts of speech, and eliminate basic spelling and word-form errors.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The response displays a limited range of sentence structures, with frequent errors in grammar and punctuation that can cause difficulty for the reader. There are persistent issues with subject-verb agreement, such as 'Every society have', as well as missing or incorrect articles and prepositions within grammatical patterns. Attempts at complex sentences are often faulty, as seen in constructions like 'if the childern are focus on a particular target... than they easily achieve anything'. Punctuation is also weak in places, leading to run-on sentences and comma splices. To progress, the writer must work on building greater accuracy across a wider variety of complex grammatical structures and carefully check for basic agreement and tense errors.

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