Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-10-03

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 5.5)

It is considered that the children can achieve anything as long as they work work hard. This message encourage children to become more confident and determined, although it may aslo create unrelastic expectations and disappointment.

One major advantage of this it can motivate children to work harder towards their goals When children believe efforts can lead to success they are more likely to continue and face any difficulty. For example, a students who perform poorly in axamination may study hard if they believe there improvements may solve through hard work. Moreover, this attitude can develop confidence, independence and positive aproach to challenges. In addition, a pupil may particpate in any competition whether it was physical or pyscloygicial they can win numerous medals by having full confidence.

However, there are some advantages to giving children the impression they can achieve anything. Firstly, success does not mainly depend on hardwork. Factors such as natural ability, financial circumstances and oppourtunity are also considered. Therefore, children may be dissopinated when they work hard and still achieve a parrticular goal. Secondly, this message may encurage unrelastic ambitions. For instance, a children might believe that the becoming a athlete is guaranteed if they practice hard even though a small numbers of children are reach this level becuase many children faces family burden or societies unethical language.

In conclusion, telling children that hardwork can help them achieve their goals and build motivation, confidence and prestience. Nevertheless, it is important to teach them effort is essential but does not guaranteed desired result.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

The response addresses all parts of the task by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of telling children they can achieve anything. A clear position is presented from the introduction and maintained throughout the essay. However, some ideas are more fully developed than others, placing this response comfortably at the intermediate level. For instance, the discussion on the advantages is supported with examples such as students performing poorly in examinations, but the points on disadvantages sometimes lack clear extension and contain slight contradictions in labelling disadvantages as 'some advantages' in the third paragraph. To reach a higher level, the ideas need more thorough elaboration and consistent clarity without minor logical slips in categorisation.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The essay presents a coherent overall arrangement with a recognisable introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, ensuring the progression of ideas is generally clear to the reader. Cohesive devices such as 'One major advantage', 'Moreover', 'However', and 'In conclusion' are employed to structure the response, though some referencing and mechanical links feel a bit repetitive or basic, such as the repeated use of 'Firstly' and 'Secondly'. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate the main themes of benefits and drawbacks. To improve further, the writer should employ a wider and more flexible variety of cohesive devices and ensure referencing between sentences is smoother and less predictable.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The vocabulary used is adequate for the task, demonstrating an acceptable range that allows the writer to communicate their main ideas about motivation and success. There are noticeable spelling and word choice errors throughout the text, such as 'work work' in the opening sentence, 'unrelistic' instead of unrealistic, 'dissopinated' instead of disappointed, 'parrticular', and 'encurage'. Attempts are made to use less common vocabulary like 'perseverance' (spelled 'prestience' in the conclusion) and 'circumstances', but these are occasionally affected by inaccuracies in form and spelling that indicate an intermediate lexical control. To achieve a higher score, the student needs to expand their range of precise vocabulary and eliminate basic spelling and word-formation errors.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

The writing displays a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, demonstrating that the student can combine clauses using conjunctions and relative structures. There are several grammar errors in areas such as articles, subject-verb agreement, and prepositional usage, exemplified by phrases like 'a students who perform', 'improvements may solve through', and 'a children might believe'. Punctuation is also occasionally neglected, particularly regarding missing commas after introductory dependent clauses. Despite these issues, the errors rarely impede overall communication. To move up to the next band, the student must demonstrate better control over complex structures and produce a higher proportion of error-free sentences.

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