Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-10-03
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?
Student answer (Band 6.0)
This topic of discussion is widely debated today. Parents always try to motivate their kids to work hard for a successful career. They often tell them that there is nothing impossible in life and they can achieve whatever they want. This approach has many advantages and disadvantages. This essay will discuss both advatanges and disadvantages and will present my own view.
On one hand, this approach provides an insentive for the younger generations, by setting high goals for which they struggle . It is observed people with high aims in life since childhood become more successful in life contrasting to their aimless age fellows. Moreover, usually children have high potentials to acheive perfection in their educational tenure. In addition, they are energetic and can develop the habit of hardwork, which prepare help them for future challenges.
On the other hand, this kind of parents's attitude has some setbacks as well. It can create false hopes among children which can lead to emotional instability if these wishes are not met in future due to bad luck.
In conclusion, I believe that we should motivate our kids with a positive approach. At the same time we should focus on developing moral values and resilience among children to cope failures in life. Parents always have high hopes for their children in every culture. Individuals in some cultures start to prepare their kids from a very young age for future challenges and boost up their confidence in themselves. This confidence is the key to success and prevent them from suffering when they face bitter realities of life in future.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 6.0 |
| Overall | 6.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0
The response addresses all parts of the task by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of telling children they can achieve anything, and the writer provides a clear position. However, some ideas remain under-developed. For instance, the advantage regarding young people setting high goals and struggling for them is mentioned, but it lacks sufficient explanation or specific examples of how this manifests in real life. Similarly, the disadvantage of emotional instability due to false hopes is introduced briefly without being fully extended. To reach a higher level, the writer needs to elaborate further on each point with deeper explanations or illustrations rather than relying on brief general statements.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5
The essay demonstrates a coherent overall arrangement with a clear progression of ideas, moving from an introduction to advantages, disadvantages, and a conclusion. Paragraphing is generally used appropriately to separate different sections of the argument. Furthermore, the response shows elements of the next band by using cohesive devices such as 'On one hand', 'On the other hand', 'Moreover', and 'In addition' to guide the reader through the text. However, cohesion occasionally feels slightly mechanical, and the placement of the concluding portion is somewhat disjointed with extra sentences appearing after the final conclusion paragraph, which affects the overall smooth progression of the argument.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.5
The writer displays an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, successfully attempting less common items such as 'emotional instability', 'moral values', and 'resilience'. However, there are noticeable spelling and word-choice errors that prevent a higher score, such as 'insentive' instead of 'incentive', 'age fellows' instead of peers, 'potentials' instead of potential, 'acheive' instead of achieve, 'hardwork' as one word, and 'parents's'. Despite these slips, meaning remains clear throughout. To improve, the writer should focus on expanding their vocabulary control, checking spelling carefully, and refining collocations and word forms for greater precision.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0
The response makes use of a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, demonstrating attempts at subordination and relative clauses, such as in sentences beginning with 'Parents always try to motivate...' and 'It is observed people with high aims...'. There are some errors in grammar and punctuation present throughout the text, including missing relative pronouns or articles, prepositions inside grammatical patterns, and awkward phrasing such as 'contrasting to their aimless age fellows' and 'prepare help them'. Nevertheless, these errors rarely impede communication and the meaning is generally easy to follow. To achieve a higher band, the writer should aim for a greater proportion of error-free complex sentences and tighten grammatical control over clause structures.
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