Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-10-04
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?
Student answer (Band 5.5)
In many parts of the world, parents teach children that they can get everything they want if they concentrate and work hard. There are some benefits of this approach but we cannot overlook the problems associated with this approach. The main bennefits are finacial freedom and confidence and the problem related to this approach will be laziness in the children and eliminate growth opportunities.
Students who are following these principles are likely to be get luxury lifestyle such as bigger house, luxury cars and sense of financial stability. Along with this these students are observed to be more focused, work dedicated and happy to take risk in their lifes. For example, if these children work in any field they will appeal more to the clients as they are more positive thinker, their energy attracts the people and work-oriented. Another example can be related to happiness as these children are not depend upon anyone for there peace of mind.
On the other hand, children who are not following these approach seems to be de-motivated as much of them do not have any life goal and are not focus on their pathway to achieve something. For example, the labour in any industry, work hard to earn his daily living and his focuses is around that daily wages only. He will always work for the other person's growth rather than focusing on personal growth.
To conclude, this approach offers both positive and negative impact on the children. It depends upon the parents wheather they want to make thier children successful in life or they want they children to face financial crisis and think within the box of their approach.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0
The response addresses the task only partially, outlining both the advantages and disadvantages of telling children they can achieve anything, but the ideas remain limited and under-developed. For example, while the writer mentions benefits like 'financial freedom and confidence' and drawbacks such as 'laziness' and eliminating growth opportunities, these points are not fully explored with sufficient depth. The position is stated in the introduction, but the reasoning throughout the body paragraphs is generalized and lacks fully articulated supporting arguments, which prevents the response from reaching a higher level.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5
The essay displays some organization with a recognizable introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion, but there is no clear overall progression from one idea to the next. Cohesive devices are sometimes inaccurate, repetitive, or inadequate, such as the repetitive use of 'For example' and mechanical transitions like 'On the other hand'. Paragraphing is attempted, but the internal logical flow between sentences within paragraphs lacks seamless connectivity, leading to a choppy reading experience that typifies this level.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.5
The vocabulary used is limited but minimally adequate to communicate the basic points. There are noticeable errors in word choice, collocation, and spelling—such as 'bennefits', 'finacial', 'wheather', and 'thier'—along with awkward phrasing like 'get luxury lifestyle' and 'think within the box'. These lexical inaccuracies and spelling slips require some effort from the reader to interpret, restricting the range and precision of the response to an adequate yet constrained level.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0
The response demonstrates a very limited range of grammatical structures, relying primarily on simple sentences alongside attempts at complex forms that are frequently faulty. There are frequent grammatical errors regarding subject-verb agreement, articles, and prepositions, such as 'Students who are following... are likely to be get', 'children who are not following these approach seems', and 'are not depend upon anyone for there peace of mind'. These persistent errors cause noticeable difficulty and disrupt the flow of the writing.
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