Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-10-04

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In some metropolitan countries, children are motivating by saying that if they work hard they will definitely achieve their desired outcomes. There are several advantages and disadvantages of giving this message to children. As it will encourages students to focus on their goals, and motivates them to burn midnight oil to get success. Aside from that, if children get this message more seriously, it could brings a few disadvantages by creating more expectations in children's mind and if they don't success, they will become disoppointed. This essay will disscus both advantages and disadvantes of this message in detail.

In some cultures, children are frequently told to work hard to get success. It brings numerous significant benefits. Firstly, it encourages students to be focused towards their goals, improves the academic results, and enhances the success rates. For instance, when a student was proscrastinating for preparing his exams. His parents motivated him by saying if you work hard you will definately clear your exams with good marks. Consequently, it boosted the student's self-confidense, he burned mid-night oil and finally cleared his exams.

Despite of advantages, this message will also pursue some disdadvanatges if students take it seriously. Firstly, students will expect more and to fulfill their expectation we can take detrimental steps. For instance, a student was preparing for ILETS exam his father said if you study day and night you will definately get desired band. He started practacing consistantly without rest which effected his health. As a result, he got ill a day before exam date due to which he missed his exam.

In conclusion, while motivational messages have numerous benefits, it will create disadvantages if getting that message seriously. From my standpoint, student should strike balance between his hard work and health status to get benefits of motivational lessons.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

The response addresses all parts of the task by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of telling children they can achieve anything with hard work, and presents a clear position throughout. Ideas are relevant, but some are slightly under-developed or repetitive, which prevents a higher score. For example, the advantage of encouraging students is well introduced, but the supporting points in the second paragraph rely heavily on a single narrative example rather than fully exploring broader sociological or psychological impacts. Similarly, the disadvantages touch on unrealistic expectations and health issues, but these are not fully extended into wider implications. To reach the next level, the ideas would need more fully realized explanations and broader supporting arguments for each point.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The essay has a coherent overall arrangement with clear paragraphing, dividing the introduction, body paragraphs for advantages and disadvantages, and a conclusion effectively. Cohesive devices are used to signal progression, such as 'Firstly', 'Aside from that', and 'In conclusion'. However, cohesion is sometimes mechanical or slightly faulty, as seen in sentence fragments or awkward transitional transitions like 'Despite of advantages'. Referencing is generally clear, but the logical flow between sentences occasionally stumbles due to structural awkwardness. To achieve a higher score, the transitions between ideas would need to be smoother and more natural, avoiding repetitive structural patterns and ensuring that cohesive devices link thoughts seamlessly without drawing undue attention to themselves.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

The writer demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, attempting less common items such as 'metropolitan countries', 'procrastinating', and 'detrimental steps'. However, there are noticeable inaccuracies in word choice, collocation, and word forms, such as 'children are motivating' instead of 'motivated', 'it could brings' instead of 'bring', 'disoppointed', 'disscus', 'disdadvanatges', and 'consistantly'. These errors reflect a limitation in precise lexical control. While communication is not severely impeded, the frequency of word-choice and spelling errors prevents the vocabulary score from rising. To improve, the student needs to pay closer attention to word formation, accurate spelling, and natural collocations.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, demonstrating an attempt at varied structures with clauses introduced by 'when', 'if', and 'while'. However, there are frequent errors in grammar and punctuation throughout the text. Examples include sentence fragments in the introduction ('As it will encourages students...'), errors in verb forms ('if they don't success'), missing articles, and preposition errors ('Despite of advantages'). These frequent errors in basic and complex structures mean the grammar sits firmly in the mid-range. To improve, the writer must focus on sentence boundary punctuation, correct verb tense consistency, and mastering prepositional patterns associated with complex phrases.

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