Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-10-04

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In some cultures, children are often encouraged to work hard for their dreams. They are given this message from an early age that, as long as they try hard enough they can achieve anything they want. This message is a double-edged sword. It carries both advantages and disadvantages at the same tiime. This essay will discuss both sides in detail.

The belief of achiving anything if you worked hard, results in children becoming hardworking, adventurous, problem solving and confident. Recent research ellaborates that, such children are dreamers and leaders of the society. They believe in themselves and work hard to turn their dreams into reality. For instance, if a child believes that he or she can achieve anything they want. They will dream big and believe in themselves. The element of uncertanity wont be effecting their daily matters anymore. In addition, if such children faces failure, they would work even harder to learn from their mistakes and turn their loss into victory. The research also adds that such children are more independant and confidant than others, as they have faith in themselves. They believe that regardless of the circumstances, they can solve their problems if they give their all.

On the other hand, such children often ends up, alone, depressed and self-consious. The statistics demonstrtates that, as these kids depend on theirselves all the time, asking for help when needed is not an option for them. For example, such children would prefer to suffer alone, instead of asking someone for help. Furthermore, If such children faces failures again and again, they get harsh on themselves and belives that they did not gave their best. Consequently, they are suffering now. Frequent failures can lead to self-critique and severe depression.

In conclusion, giving children this message is a good thing, as long as children are thought that some things are out of human control. Some people have innate talent for a specific thing. Thus, one should not punish oneself, over the things that are out of his or hers hand.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

The response addresses all parts of the task, examining both the advantages and disadvantages of telling children they can achieve anything with hard work, thus meeting the requirements of the prompt and extending into higher-band territory. The position is clear throughout the essay. However, some ideas remain slightly under-developed rather than fully elaborated, which prevents the score from reaching a higher level. For example, the advantage regarding confidence is stated well through the mention that children become 'dreamers and leaders', but the supporting examples quickly transition into general assertions rather than sustained, specific elaboration. Similarly, the disadvantages focusing on isolation and depression are introduced effectively, but the explanations tend to repeat similar ideas about avoiding help rather than exploring distinct facets of the issue. To push into higher bands, the supporting arguments would need deeper, more comprehensive exploration and more precise real-world examples.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The essay presents a coherent overall arrangement with a clear logical progression from introduction to body paragraphs and conclusion, fulfilling the core requirements of this level and demonstrating glimpses of the next. Paragraphing is used sufficiently and appropriately, with each body paragraph dedicated to a distinct side of the argument. However, cohesion is at times mechanical or faulty. Transitional phrases like 'In addition' and 'Furthermore' are relied upon heavily, and some referencing is not entirely clear, such as the pronoun shifts and fragmented sentence structures found in 'For example, such children would prefer to suffer alone, instead of asking someone for help. Furthermore, If such children faces failures...'. To achieve a higher band, the writer needs to employ a wider and more flexible variety of cohesive devices organically, ensuring seamless transitions between sentences and ideas without over-relying on formulaic connectors.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

The student uses an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, successfully attempting less common items such as 'double-edged sword', 'adventurous', and 'self-critique'. However, there are noticeable spelling and word-choice errors that reflect this level, including typos and incorrect derivations like 'achiving', 'ellaborates', 'uncertanity', 'independant', 'confidant', 'self-consious', 'demonstrtates', 'themselves' (used as 'themselves' and 'themselves' incorrectly in places), 'belives', 'gave' (instead of given), and 'thought' (instead of taught). These errors do not generally impede communication, but they prevent the vocabulary from achieving the precision and fluency required for higher bands. To improve, the writer should focus on strengthening spelling accuracy, ensuring correct word forms, and refining collocations when attempting more ambitious lexical items.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

The essay demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, attempting relative clauses and conditional structures. There are several grammatical and punctuation errors present, such as unnecessary comma splices and punctuation errors like 'as long as they try hard enough they can achieve', subject-verb agreement slips in 'such children faces failures', and incorrect tense usage in 'if such children faces failures again and again, they get harsh on themselves and belives that they did not gave their best'. Despite these errors, the meaning is rarely impeded, and the sentence structures remain generally comprehensible. To reach a higher level, the writer must exercise greater control over complex sentence patterns, maintain consistent subject-verb agreement, and eliminate punctuation errors to produce a higher frequency of error-free sentences.

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