Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-10-04

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Prehab's in many cultures children are told that if they try hard enough they can achieve everything. There are many positive and negative effect of this message on children.

People like in Pakistan often compare children with other children, just to make them realize to work hard. But they do not know they are developing sense of insecurities in their children. They ask them to work hard so you can compete with other by doing this they are making their children mentally weak and children feel depressed. Children every time do work beyond their capacity and at the end some times results are not up-to their expectations . At the end children think that they are not doing enough to achieve their goals and work more harder and as result loss self-confidence.

At the same time by telling them to work hard to achieve their desires goals make them feel motivated. They focus on their goal with full concentration. Many children take this in positive way like studying more in exams to compete with friends. They don't go for shortcuts they work hard to earn the reward. This develop confidence in children to try new things.

This is a good message it make children to work hard in every situation of life because hard work leads to loyalty with the work which lead to success, But at the same time we should also show them reality that in many cases some peoples are not hardworking but they have shortcut and smart way of thinking which lead them to achieve their goals without any hard work. Some people also have luck. The only thing that matters is to try again and again.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You successfully address all parts of the task by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of telling children they can achieve anything. Your position is generally clear throughout the response. However, some ideas are more fully developed than others. For instance, the negative psychological effects of feeling insecure or depressed are explored with some specific consequences, such as working beyond capacity and losing self-confidence. Conversely, the advantages are somewhat repetitive and lack deeper elaboration, relying on general statements like 'making them feel motivated' and 'studying more in exams.' To move to a higher level, you need to ensure that both sides of the argument receive equal depth of extension, supporting your points with more fully realized examples or explanations.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

Your response demonstrates a coherent overall arrangement, with clear paragraphs dedicated to introducing the topic, discussing disadvantages, exploring advantages, and providing a conclusion. However, the cohesion between sentences is sometimes mechanical or faulty. You rely heavily on repetitive transitional phrases like 'at the end' and 'at the same time' to link your ideas. Furthermore, referencing is not always clear, as seen with ambiguous pronoun usage such as 'doing this they are making their children mentally weak' and 'this is a good message it make children.' To achieve a higher band, you should use a wider variety of cohesive devices more smoothly and ensure that referencing words clearly point to their intended antecedents, creating a seamless logical progression throughout the essay.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You display an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, successfully attempting less common items and phrases such as 'beyond their capacity', 'self-confidence', and 'shortcut and smart way of thinking.' However, there are noticeable errors in word choice, collocation, and word formation that prevent a higher score. For example, phrases like 'developing sense of insecurities', 'work more harder', and 'desires goals' contain grammatical or lexical inaccuracies. Additionally, there are awkward phrasings such as 'loyalty with the work.' While these errors do not seriously impede communication, you need to demonstrate greater precision in word choice and collocations, as well as fewer slips in word forms, to reach a higher level.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, demonstrating some control over your writing, such as in conditional structures like 'if they try hard enough they can achieve everything.' Nevertheless, there is a limited range of structures overall, and your attempts at complex sentences are frequently marred by errors. You make several mistakes with verb forms, subject-verb agreement, and articles, such as 'Prehab's' instead of perhaps, 'effect' instead of effects, 'it make children' instead of it makes children, and run-on sentences like 'hard work leads to loyalty with the work which lead to success, But at the same time...' These errors occasionally cause some difficulty for the reader. To improve, you should focus on increasing your structural variety while tightening your grammatical accuracy, particularly regarding agreement and clause boundaries.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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