Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-10-05
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?
Student answer (Band 5.5)
Children have immature brains. They learn according to how they are trained. If something is inserted in their minds, they will act accordingly. Children trained about working hard have its own benefits as well as side effects. In this essay I will discuss about its positive and negative impacts.
As we all know hard work is the key to success. Without hard work nothing huge is achievable. In that case, small brains who adopt the nature of working hard are future oriented because they always take the pain of learning new things and try to ace in every domains. Moreover, no working makes them feel guilty and left behind, so they always try to stay active and updated. Additionally, remain always ready for any situation. We know that nothing is impossible to achieve. Maybe when we are about to quit the goal is near and we are leaving it off just for a few extra effort.
Besides hard work makes you achieve complicated things. It can make you feel exhausted as well. Hard work requires extra time, effort and focus, so the energy consumption while working hard is also high, making the person feel sick and tired early. Due to extra work load, our body has to work more which can cause health concerns as well. A person can undergo stress and depression after working hard and that factors can only be reduced by taking more rest. In this way, it kills a lot of time.
In the conclusion, hard work can make you achieve your targets but at the same time it can also cause many issues like stress and depression. However, hard working should be encouraged to children so that they do not become lazy.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5
The response addresses the prompt by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of telling children they can achieve anything through hard work, thereby covering all parts of the task. However, the development of ideas remains somewhat limited and surface-level. For instance, the discussion on advantages introduces points like being 'future-oriented' and 'active' but leaves them under-developed without specific examples or thorough explanation. Similarly, the negative impacts mention health concerns, stress, and depression, but these ideas are stated rather than fully elaborated. The position of the writer is evident throughout the essay, leaning towards acknowledging both the motivational benefits and the potential psychological and physical costs, fitting the profile where relevant ideas are presented but some parts remain under-developed.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0
The essay displays a coherent overall arrangement with a clear attempt to structure the response into introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Paragraphing is used sufficiently to separate the advantages from the disadvantages. However, cohesion is at times mechanical or faulty. Transitional phrases like 'In that case', 'Besides', and 'In the conclusion' are used rather awkwardly, and referencing is occasionally unclear, such as the pronoun reference in 'that factors can only be reduced'. While the logical progression is visible and guides the reader through the main points, the lack of smoother cohesive devices keeps the response firmly rooted at this level of organisation.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.0
The vocabulary used is limited but minimally adequate to communicate the central ideas of the task. The writer attempts some less common vocabulary, such as 'exhausted', 'energy consumption', and 'depression', but encounters noticeable errors in word choice, collocation, and phrasing, such as 'small brains', 'try to ace in every domains', and 'hard working should be encouraged'. There are also occasional awkward phrasings like 'leaving it off just for a few extra effort'. These lexical shortcomings and inaccurate collocations cause some moments of hesitation for the reader, reflecting a restricted range that meets the basic communicative needs of the task.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0
The writer demonstrates a limited range of grammatical structures, relying heavily on simple sentences alongside a few faulty attempts at complex forms. There are frequent grammatical and punctuation errors throughout the text, including subject-verb agreement issues like 'Children trained about working hard have its own benefits', article omissions, and prepositions inside grammatical patterns such as 'discuss about its positive and negative impacts'. Sentences containing complex structures frequently contain errors, and punctuation is occasionally mishandled. These frequent errors cause some difficulty and strain for the reader, characteristic of a grammar profile where control is inconsistent.
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