Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-10-05

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 5.0)

cultural and civilization values are learning young individuals, that they can achieve anything in their life if do they do hard work for it. In my perspective, hard work and consistency is the ultimate key to success. I will adhere the advantages and disadvantages of the prompt here.

As, efforts matters in every perspective of our life.

In our culture and heritage background, youngsters are told to work hard, as it is the key to achievement of your goals. However, hard work is not only the thing we need , although one should remain contributed consistently towards the journey of their life tasks. For instance, if we pay attention to a specific piece of task, either it is for the studies purpose or any other piece of work in any aspect of our life, children should try to pay attention honestly with strong efforts and consequently, the result will be a success. It could be in the form of a blessing or an achievement.

On the other hand, if youngsters work hard any thing could be possible but, the rewards could be different according to their desired hopes For instance, if a child is trying hard enough to get a study visa, but ultimately he secure a good job then, the scenario is different but reward is priceless. Although, we are applying our efforts in a certain task, but the plans from lord are different. So, the hard work is must, children should part their responsibility towards success, what comes next is the only fate.

Taking every thing into account, culture and civilisation is the initial learning environment for every children. As a positive perspective hard-work is the key to success, but the consequences could be possibly different. so, everyone should work attentively and accurately with hard-work, ultimately children will be successful and committed in any stage of their career and future life goals.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

The response addresses the prompt only partially, which reflects a limited engagement with the complexities of the task. The writer attempts to discuss both the advantages and disadvantages of telling children they can achieve anything through hard work, but the ideas remain largely under-developed and circular. For instance, the discussion on disadvantages mentions that rewards might differ from expectations and brings in the notion of 'fate' or divine plans, but this argument lacks clarity and sufficient extension. The position of the writer is somewhat unclear due to convoluted reasoning and repetitive assertions that hard work is the key to success. To reach a higher level, the writer needs to clearly separate distinct advantages and disadvantages, such as the psychological impact of unfulfilled expectations versus the motivational drive of perseverance, and develop these points with well-reasoned explanations and concrete examples.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

There is some organisation present in the essay, with attempts at paragraphing to separate introduction, body points, and conclusion, but there is no clear overall progression of thought. Cohesive devices are used awkwardly or inaccurately, such as starting sentences with 'As, efforts matters' or 'On the other hand, if youngsters work hard any thing could be possible'. Reference words are sometimes confusing, and repetition of phrases like 'hard work is the key to success' creates a mechanical feel rather than a smooth logical flow. Paragraphing is attempted, but the internal logical links between sentences within paragraphs are frequently weak. To improve, the writer should focus on creating clearer transitions between ideas, ensuring that each paragraph builds logically upon the previous one without unnecessary repetition, and using a wider, more accurate range of cohesive devices.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The vocabulary used is limited and minimally adequate for the task, containing noticeable errors that occasionally cause difficulty for the reader. The writer attempts some less common vocabulary items, such as 'civilisation', 'contributed', and 'consequently', but these are frequently affected by errors in word choice, collocation, and word form. For example, writing 'learning young individuals' instead of teaching them, and using 'contributed consistently' instead of consistent contribution. There are also recurrent issues with word forms, such as 'civilisation' instead of cultural contexts. To move up to the next band, the writer must expand their vocabulary range and improve precision in word choice and collocations, ensuring that terms are used naturally and accurately in appropriate contexts without causing miscommunication.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The response demonstrates a very limited range of structures, with frequent errors that can cause difficulty and strain for the reader. While there are some attempts at complex sentences, these are often faulty in construction. For example, clauses are clumsily joined, as seen in 'cultural and civilization values are learning young individuals, that they can achieve anything in their life if do they do hard work for it', which contains errors in word order, subject-verb agreement, and voice. Punctuation errors are also frequent, including unnecessary commas separating subjects from verbs and incorrect capitalization. To progress, the writer needs to demonstrate better control over basic sentence patterns, reduce the frequency of grammatical errors, and ensure accurate use of verb forms, word order, and punctuation in complex structures.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.