Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-10-05

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In thie modern era, motivaton have great role in achieveing the ambition. The infant always encouraged to get anything they want in life if they work with toil. However, there are numerous pros and cons behind this phenomenon. This eassy will prove whether this phenomenon is fruitful or harmful for the whole.

At the outset, the prominent advantage can be stated as children are always motivated by their loved ones to work hard in their life, nothing can be possible without having particular ambition. Beacuse there is enormous competition in every field . In order to gain success in the life , juveniles have to stay humble and focused with consistence. Without motivation, children cannot achieve their set target . Moreover, children always stay encourged so that wherever they feel stressed and perplexed in their life, infants always have backbone as their parents. For instance, since childhood , parents set the goal in the mind of their juvenile so that they perform better in academic as well as in curriculum activities and make their future bright.

On the contrary, It rise some issue also that if the children unable to achieve the goal than it demotivate them instantly. As a consequences, they follow worngpathways to fullfil their dreams. Sometime children not only influenced by wrong peer group but also stay isolated. Rather than face the difficults with courage, infant avoid to interact within society, feel insulted. As a result , they loss slf confiedence and may go in depression a well. For example , most of student commit suicide since they unable to get desire score in entrance exam to reserve their seat in collage.

In short, there are few demerits , merits acnot be neglected. ratinal approch may be used to solve this

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

The response addresses the prompt by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of telling children they can achieve anything. However, the ideas remain somewhat limited and under-developed. For example, while the writer mentions that motivation helps children stay focused amidst competition, the supporting explanation is brief and repetitive. Similarly, the negative aspects, such as the risk of depression or wrong pathways, are introduced abruptly without sufficient elaboration or clear exemplification. The writer attempts to take a position, but the conclusion is truncated and incomplete, ending mid-sentence with "ratinal approch may be used to solve this". To move to a higher level, the response needs to fully extend and support all ideas with deeper explanations and maintain a clear, cohesive position throughout.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The essay demonstrates a coherent overall arrangement with a clear attempt at paragraphing, dividing the introduction, advantages, disadvantages, and conclusion into distinct sections. However, the logical progression is occasionally disrupted by mechanical or faulty cohesive devices. For instance, transitional phrases like "At the outset" and "On the contrary" are used, but referencing within and between sentences is sometimes unclear, as seen in the phrase "It rise some issue also that if the children unable...". Paragraphing is present, but the final paragraph is cut short. To achieve a higher score, the writer needs to ensure that cohesive devices are used more accurately and smoothly to guide the reader through a more transparent logical progression of ideas.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The lexical resource is limited and displays noticeable errors that can cause some difficulty for the reader. The vocabulary used is basic and repetitive, with frequent errors in word form, choice, and spelling. Examples include "motivaton" instead of motivation, "achieveing", "eassy", "consistence", "encourghed", "worngpathways", "difficults", "slf confiedence", and "ratinal approch". Additionally, inappropriate word choices such as using "infant" to refer to older children or teenagers impede precise communication. To improve this criterion, the writer must expand their vocabulary range, practice correct word forms, and pay closer attention to spelling to ensure clarity.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The grammatical range is restricted, relying primarily on a limited variety of structures where attempts at complex sentences are frequently faulty. There are persistent errors in verb forms, tense agreement, plurals, and articles throughout the text. For instance, the writer writes "The infant always encouraged" (missing auxiliary verb), "children are always motivated... nothing can be possible" (comma splice/run-on structure), and "if the children unable to achieve the goal than it demotivate them instantly" (subject-verb agreement and tense errors). Punctuation and word order errors also frequently occur. To progress, the writer needs to demonstrate a greater variety of error-free complex structures and improve overall grammatical accuracy.

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