Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-10-05

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 5.0)

Children are the main part of our society and they play significanse role for country, cultrul and society success. In some culures, people are told to children that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. Although, there are many adventages but there is some disadvantages of that message.

On the one hand, there are big adventage is this message persuade the children to workhard and become successful.Followed by, from this children become independent and will reduce poverty from our country. If looked some cultures or country parents leave their children schools from the early age and do many acctivities with their children. It is reason the countries successful countinously and their civilizens are more hardwork.

On the other hand, there are many disadventages. One main disadvantage is that the childrens always and every time do work and they lives robot life. they are always busy in work and they have no time to spend with their families and other special ones.For example, my friend always busy in work after school she went home and no take rest aur spend time with oue friends. She is hardworking because her parents told her the hardworking from early age and it produce a comparison between others and when she fail she disturbed mentaly.

To conclude, children make successful and independant from hardworking and their are lives machinery lifes.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

The response addresses the task only partially, noting both advantages and disadvantages, but the ideas remain limited and under-developed. Furthermore, the length requirement is not met; the student's response contains 217 words, falling 33 words short of the 250-word minimum (note that 10 words copied directly from the task prompt were not counted). The position is expressed, but the supporting arguments lack extension and clarity. For instance, the mention of children reducing poverty or living a robot life are introduced hastily without proper elaboration or relevant examples. To reach a higher level, the writer must fully develop all parts of the prompt with well-supported arguments and meet the minimum word count.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

There is some organisation with clear paragraph breaks indicating an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, but there is no clear overall progression throughout the text. Cohesive devices are sometimes inadequate, inaccurate, or repetitive, such as the frequent reliance on transitional phrases like 'On the one hand' and 'On the other hand' coupled with mechanical connectors like 'Followed by' and 'It is reason'. Referencing can also be unclear, making it difficult to follow the logical flow between sentences. To improve, the writer needs to enhance the logical transition of ideas and use a wider, more accurate variety of cohesive devices to guide the reader smoothly through the argument.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

The lexical resource is limited and minimally adequate for addressing the topic. There is a frequent presence of noticeable word choice, word form, and spelling errors that cause difficulty for the reader, such as 'significanse' instead of significance, 'cultrul' instead of cultural, 'adventages' instead of advantages, and 'workhard' instead of work hard. The vocabulary is basic and repetitive, utilizing words like 'successful', 'work', and 'hardworking' multiple times without much variation. To achieve a higher score, the writer must expand their vocabulary range, incorporate less common lexical items with correct collocations, and eliminate spelling and word-form errors.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The response demonstrates a very limited range of sentence structures, relying mostly on simple sentences or attempts at complex structures that are frequently faulty. There are persistent errors in grammar, articles, prepositions, and subject-verb agreement that cause frequent difficulty for the reader, such as 'people are told to children', 'there is some disadvantages', 'the childrens always', and 'she disturbed mentaly'. Punctuation is also inconsistently handled. To progress, the writer needs to demonstrate a better mix of complex sentence forms with improved grammatical accuracy across verb tenses, articles, and sentence boundaries.

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