Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-10-05

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 4.5)

In several cultures, children are often told that they can gain anything if they try hard only. Working hard can help you to achieve anything you have keep in your mindset but it provides also some disadvantages.

To begin with the statement is that it provide several type of advantages and require also different opportunities such as you can get an amazing job having skill and can make your life easy. Numerous individuals wanted to fulfill their goals which they keep in their minds but it can be possible by hard working.

Moreover, it have also some negative effects such as if they try hard enough but don't have any skill, experience, information or knowledge about their relevent material. It is irralevent to your opportunity because it can lost your time and provide bad effects.

Furthermore, by comparing both statements, it is prove that working hard can require you various benefits and also make your life easy and secure. The individuals don't try to hard work, have to face numerous problems in life.

In conclusion,

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

The response responds to the task only minimally and remains incomplete, as it abruptly trails off in the final conclusion and falls significantly short of the required minimum word count. Specifically, 8 words copied from the prompt were not counted, resulting in a total of 167 words, which is 83 words below the target. While the writer attempts to address both advantages and disadvantages, the ideas are severely underdeveloped. For instance, the discussion on disadvantages mentions lacking a 'relevent material' or knowledge, but this concept is not fully articulated or supported with clear explanations or examples. To improve, the writer must ensure the essay is fully developed, addresses all parts of the prompt thoroughly, and meets the minimum length requirement.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

The response displays basic organisation with an attempt at paragraphing, but information and ideas are not arranged coherently throughout the text. While transitional phrases such as 'To begin with', 'Moreover', and 'In conclusion' are present, their usage is frequently mechanical and fails to establish a clear logical progression of ideas. Referencing is sometimes unclear, such as in the sentence starting with 'the statement is that it provide several type of advantages', which creates confusion for the reader. The essay also lacks an ending due to the abrupt stop in the conclusion. To achieve higher bands, the writer needs to ensure that cohesive devices connect ideas smoothly, referencing is precise, and paragraphs follow a logical structure from introduction to a fully realised conclusion.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

The vocabulary used is basic and repetitive, employing limited lexical items that struggle to convey precise meaning. There are noticeable errors in word choice, spelling, and word form that occasionally impede communication or strain the reader, such as 'relevent' instead of 'relevant', 'irralevent', and 'lost' instead of 'waste'. The phrase 'try hard only' and 'try to hard work' demonstrate unnatural collocations and awkward phrasing. The writer attempts some less common vocabulary, but inaccurate control restricts the range. To progress to a higher band, the student should expand their vocabulary range, focus on correct word forms and spelling, and learn standard collocations for academic writing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The grammatical range is very limited, relying primarily on simple sentence structures where attempts at more complex forms are frequently faulty. Frequent errors in grammar are apparent throughout the text, including issues with verb forms and tenses, subject-verb agreement, and prepositions inside grammatical patterns. Examples include 'it provide also some disadvantages', 'it have also some negative effects', and 'it is prove that working hard can require you'. These errors occur frequently and can cause difficulty for the reader in grasping the intended meaning. To improve, the writer should practice forming complex sentences accurately, check subject-verb agreements carefully, and work on consistent verb tense control.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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