Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-10-05

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In contemporary society, it is undeniable that children from different cultures are frequently encouraged with the idea that they can achieve anything if they try hard to get that. While this message can be highly motivating but also has some potential drawbacks. This essay will examine both advantages and disadvantages of giving students this belief.

On the one hand, there are many benefits associated with telling children that effort leads to success. one of the main positive impact is that it builds confidence and motivation. To illustrate, people who believe in their own potential are more likely to set ambitious goals and presevere when facing difficulties. For instance, a student who is very weak at mathematics should continue practicing instead of giving up because they believe improvement is possible hardwork. In addition, this message promotes growth mindset, encourages children to review mistake as learning opportunties rather than failures. As a result, they become more resilient and willing to take on more challenges.

On the second hand, there are also some drawbacks related to this belief that should not be overlooked. One of the obvious negative impact is that it may create unrealistic expectations. To clarify, not all the students have same abilities, talents, or opportunties, and hardwork alone does not always guarantee success. for example, a student who repeatedly fails to achieve a particular goal may feel frustrated or blame themselves, which can harm their self-esteem. Furthermore this message can cause children to underestimate the importance of external factors such as guidence, resources and luck in achieving success.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

The response addresses the main parts of the task by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of telling children they can achieve anything. However, the overall length falls slightly short of the 250-word minimum, containing 249 words, with 9 words copied directly from the prompt not contributing to the original word count. While the main ideas are relevant, some parts of the response are somewhat limited and under-developed. For instance, the explanation of the disadvantages tends to generalise rather than fully extending the arguments with deeper supporting details. To reach a higher band, the writer needs to fully develop all parts of the response with more extensive support and ensure the minimum word count requirement is comfortably met.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response demonstrates a clear overall arrangement with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a logical progression of ideas. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate advantages from disadvantages. Cohesive devices are employed, such as 'On the one hand' and 'On the second hand' (though the latter contains a minor phraseological slip), as well as referencing words like 'This essay' and 'As a result'. However, cohesion can sometimes feel a bit mechanical or repetitive in how transitions are introduced. To move further up the band scale, the writer should employ a wider and more flexible variety of cohesive devices while ensuring referencing remains smooth and unobtrusive throughout the entire text.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

The vocabulary used is adequate for the task, allowing the writer to communicate main ideas about motivation, confidence, and external factors. There are attempts to use less common items such as 'contemporary society', 'ambitious goals', and 'unrealistic expectations'. However, there are noticeable lexical errors and awkward collocations, such as 'hardwork' written as one word, 'review mistake as learning opportunties' instead of viewing mistakes as opportunities, and spelling errors like 'presevere' and 'opportunties'. These errors and limited lexical precision reflect a restricted range. To improve, the writer needs to expand their vocabulary control, ensure correct word forms and spelling, and practice natural collocations.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

The response shows a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, attempting structures such as conditional and relative clauses (e.g., 'people who believe in their own potential are more likely to set ambitious goals'). However, there are frequent errors in grammar and punctuation, including missing articles ('have same abilities'), preposition errors ('possible hardwork'), and run-on or faulty complex structures ('While this message can be highly motivating but also has some potential drawbacks'). These frequent errors can cause occasional difficulty for the reader. To achieve a higher band, the writer must demonstrate better control over complex grammatical structures and reduce the frequency of basic grammatical and punctuation mistakes.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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