Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-10-05
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?
Student answer (Band 5.5)
Childrens are the main and important part of every society or country. Every country, culture and socialize success depend on the children. In some cultures, people are often told to children that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. There are many advatages but it is not wrong to say there are also disadvantages.
On the one hand, the main advantage of that message is that children become hardworking and independent. Followed by, the poverty whould reduse by this message. From that message people arroused the children to complete their dreams and the reason behind this message children success not only their success but their parents proud on their. We can see in the successful countries childrens go to school from the early age and their parrents also do acctivities with the children because they want to make our child haedworking.
On the other hand, there are many disadvantges of that message. The one is children do not spend their lives with their parrents and special ones. The second disadventages of that message is childrens come into competition and when they fail they streesed and when after hardworking they do not succeed they disturbed mentally. For example, my friend is a hardworking girl and they always working she have no time to spend with friends and she physically tired every time. She live like a robote life and when she failed she disturbed.
To conclude, that message can reduse the poverty from the society and children save from the bad life . That message persuade the children to achieve their goals and become independent. But from that message children life make same the robbote life and they live their life to become machinery.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5
The response addresses all parts of the prompt by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of telling children they can achieve anything. Ten words copied directly from the task prompt were not counted towards the overall word count. The position is clear, but the ideas are developed unevenly. While the introduction outlines the general topic, the body paragraphs present points that remain somewhat limited and under-developed, such as the vague claim regarding poverty reduction or the abrupt example of the hardworking friend. To reach a higher level, the ideas would need to be extended with deeper explanations, more specific reasoning, and fully elaborated supporting examples rather than brief, generalized assertions.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0
The essay presents a coherent overall arrangement with a recognizable introduction, distinct body paragraphs for advantages and disadvantages, and a conclusion. However, cohesion is sometimes faulty or mechanical. Transition phrases like 'On the one hand' and 'To conclude' are used, but internal cohesive devices and referencing are occasionally unclear or repetitive, such as the recurring use of 'that message'. Paragraphing is present, but the logical progression within paragraphs is disrupted by abrupt shifts in thought and awkward sentence transitions, as seen in the awkward link between sentences in the second paragraph. To improve further, the writer needs to ensure smoother links between ideas and more precise referencing.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.0
The student displays a limited but minimally adequate range of vocabulary for the task, attempting some less common words and phrases such as 'independent' and 'persuade'. However, there are noticeable errors in word choice, collocation, and spelling that may cause some difficulty for the reader, such as 'advatages', 'whould reduse', 'arroused' instead of 'encourage', 'streesed', and 'robote life'. These lexical inaccuracies mean the vocabulary control remains basic. To achieve a higher band, the writer must expand their lexical repertoire and use words more accurately, paying closer attention to spelling and natural collocations.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5
The writing demonstrates a very limited range of sentence structures, relying heavily on simple forms alongside faulty attempts at complex sentences. There are frequent errors in grammar and punctuation throughout the text, including pluralization errors ('Childrens', 'parrents'), missing articles, awkward preposition use, and tense inconsistencies. These frequent errors can occasionally cause difficulty for the reader, as seen in phrasing like 'childrens come into competition and when they fail they streesed'. To progress, the writer needs to develop better control over basic sentence patterns, subject-verb agreement, and verb forms while reducing the frequency of grammatical slips.
See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.
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