Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-10-05

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Many cultures have a tradition where young pupils are often told that they can acquire anything if they work hard. This essay will discuss both the benefits and drawbacks of giving this message to children.

One of the major advantage of giving this message to children is that they may learn about the importance of hardwork which is essential for their future growth. This is because children are eager to learn about the things which could help them achieve their targeted goals. Additionally, if these messages are given at young ages, children may give their best to acquire whatever they want in their lives. For example, if children are told about the struggle and hardwork which are required in the admission of a certain field, they can workhard for that course prior to their enrollment. As a result, children will be well prepared, encouraged and focused towards their future goals.

On the other hand there are some drawbacks of giving this message earlier because this might lead to mental pressure and unhealthy physical habits. Some children may work overtime to achieve their desired goals while neglecting their physical health. Furthermore, some children might get into unhealthy habits such as taking drugs. This is because they are in the race of getting everything in their lives and for that they can use certain addictive things which can help them staying up late while working on their projects. For instance, some families pressurised their children to enrol in specific fields with any means, consequently this could affect their overall well-being.

In conclusion, although this message has many benefits which can help children to encourage and learn the importance about hardwork, there are negative aspects too which can disturbs children mental and physical health.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

The response addresses all parts of the task by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of telling children they can achieve anything. A clear position is maintained throughout the essay. However, some ideas are more fully developed than others. For instance, the advantage regarding future preparation and goal setting is explained well with the example of university course admissions. Conversely, the development of the disadvantages is somewhat less focused, particularly the abrupt and somewhat extreme claim about children resorting to taking drugs to stay awake and work on projects, which feels under-developed and lacks sufficient logical support. Overall, the ideas presented are relevant to the prompt, but the extension of arguments requires greater depth and realism to reach a higher level.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 7.0

The essay demonstrates a clear logical organization and progression throughout. Information and ideas are coherently sequenced, moving naturally from the introduction to the benefits paragraph, the drawbacks paragraph, and a concise conclusion. Paragraphing is used sufficiently and appropriately, with each main body paragraph dedicated to a distinct theme (advantages versus disadvantages). The student employs a variety of cohesive devices such as 'On the other hand', 'Furthermore', and 'For instance' to guide the reader, although referencing is occasionally slightly mechanical. The overall structure provides a clear roadmap of the writer's arguments, maintaining a smooth flow of ideas from start to finish.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

The vocabulary used is adequate for the task, providing a sufficient range to discuss the topic clearly. The writer attempts some less common vocabulary, such as 'well prepared', 'well-being', and 'enrollment', but there are noticeable inaccuracies in word choice and collocation. For example, writing 'major advantage' instead of 'major advantages' and 'hardwork' as a single word or omitting hyphens in compound forms ('young ages'). There are also awkward phrasings like 'in the race of getting everything' and 'pressurisied' (spelling error) or 'disturbs children mental and physical health' (word form error). These errors occur throughout the text but generally do not impede overall communication.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

The response exhibits a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, utilizing structures such as conditional clauses ('if children are told... they can work hard') and subordinate clauses ('This is because children are eager...'). There are some errors in grammar and punctuation, such as missing commas in places like 'On the other hand there are some drawbacks', missing plural agreements ('children mental and physical health'), and incorrect preposition usage in phrases like 'required in the admission of a certain field'. However, these errors are relatively infrequent and rarely impede communication, allowing the reader to easily follow the intended meaning while showcasing a moderate control over sentence variety.

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