Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-10-05

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Nowadays, in some countries, children are taught that they can achieve anything if they work hard. However, there are both pros and cons to deciding to do this. In this essay, I will discuss why children are encouraged to work hard, along with the challenges that come with it.

Let's begin by looking at the advantage of doing hard work to attain something. One of the main positives of doing this is that it will enhance children confident level of achieving anything. It will also push children toward not giving up in any difficult circumstances. For instance, when individuals are average learners but when they are given such useful lesson this will help them to do hard work and achieve highest score in class. This will eventually enhance student performance.

Secondly, this will increase success rate of the country. By this I mean that, hard work will eventually generate competitive individuals in the market. Take, Christiana Ronaldo as an example. He don't have too much facilities in life but at the end his hard work pay him off and he become a successful footballer.

Turning to the other side of the argument, the most prominent drawback is that it will pressurized children, which result in many mental problems in young age. Another issue is that, individual believes hard work guarantees any goal creates a false promise; when failure happens despite maximum effort, individuals often blame themselves, leading to low self-esteem and depression.

All things considered, hard work is essential for achieving big goals in life. Personally I believe that benefits in terms of success and self-confidence eventually outweigh any disadvantage

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

The response successfully addresses all parts of the prompt by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of telling children they can achieve anything through hard work, thereby fulfilling the core requirements of the task. The writer's position is clear throughout the essay. However, some ideas are more fully developed than others, which prevents the response from reaching a higher band level. For instance, while the disadvantages regarding mental pressure and false promises are articulated reasonably well, the advantages—such as enhancing confidence and national success—tend to be somewhat generalized and lack deeper elaboration. Specific examples, like mentioning Cristiano Ronaldo, are provided but remain underdeveloped in terms of fully supporting the broader economic or societal argument. To improve, the writer needs to extend and support all main points with more thorough explanations and fully fleshed-out examples.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The essay demonstrates a coherent overall arrangement with a clear, logical progression of ideas from the introduction through the body paragraphs to the conclusion. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate different facets of the prompt, with distinct paragraphs for advantages and disadvantages. Cohesive devices are employed to signal transitions, such as 'Let's begin by looking at', 'Secondly', and 'Turning to the other side of the argument', though some of these transitional phrases feel slightly mechanical or conversational. Additionally, referencing and logical flow occasionally falter slightly, such as in the abrupt shift into the example about Cristiano Ronaldo. To achieve a higher level of cohesion, the writer should aim for a more sophisticated and seamless integration of cohesive devices and ensure that referencing between sentences remains consistently clear and natural throughout.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

The student uses an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, successfully attempting less common items and phrasing such as 'difficult circumstances', 'competitive individuals', 'false promise', and 'low self-esteem'. However, there are noticeable lexical inaccuracies and awkward word choices that reflect a limited command of precise collocations and word forms. Examples include 'enhance children confident level' instead of 'enhance children's level of confidence', 'doing hard work' rather than simply 'working hard', and 'it will pressurized children' instead of 'it will pressure children'. There are also minor stylistic issues, such as the informal conversational tone in 'Let's begin by looking at'. These errors do not seriously impede communication, but they prevent the vocabulary score from rising by showing inconsistent control over less common lexical items.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

The writing displays a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, attempting complex structures to explain cause and effect, as seen in sentences like 'when individuals are average learners but when they are given such useful lesson this will help them...' There are, however, several grammatical errors and punctuation lapses scattered throughout the response. Examples include subject-verb agreement errors ('He don't have' instead of 'He didn't have', 'individual believes' instead of 'individuals believe'), awkward article usage ('achieve highest score'), and minor structural awkwardness in compound sentences. Punctuation is occasionally faulty, particularly with comma placement around clauses. These errors occur frequently enough to remind the reader of a mixed control of grammar, though they rarely impede overall communication. To progress, the student must produce a greater proportion of error-free complex sentences and exercise tighter control over verb forms and agreement.

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