Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-10-05

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The given topic has discussed that can childrens achieve anything by working hard enough. we will discuss advantages and disadvantages of these messages conveyed in some societies or cultures and what are the impacts of these type of messages that are conveyed to childrens. I strongly agree with this statement.

Firstly there are many advantages of giving these types of messages to the childrens to dont stop doing hardwork and continue the efforts as we know that efforts and hard work can acomplish anything we desire.Without hardwork theres nothing that we can achieve. For example in exams all students which are attempting exam are teached by the same teachers in the same class but the results of all students are different its because of the hardwork as all of us had listened that harwork pays off. So hardwork in reality pays off if u will not give efforts to your tasks and goals u can't achieve goals in ur life so hardwork is very important.

Secondly, With advantages there are also some disadvantages like in some cultures things are told in this way that u should only do hardwork to acomplish ur tasks and goals but its not reality if all focus is on hardwork children may harm their health.All time focus on studies and just reading books and going through the notes and different things will just make ur mind close like a narrow space u will not give time to other things and piority to other essential things of ur life.

In conclusion i agree that hardwork pays off and u can achieve anything in life but with hardwork u should also focus on other essential activities in ur life so the message to children's should be conveyed in thsi way that with hardwork they also give piority to all other activities so their life can be remain balanced.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

The response addresses the prompt by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of telling children they can achieve anything through hard work, which meets the basic requirements of the task. However, the position is somewhat confusingly stated; the introduction mentions an agreement with the statement, yet the body paragraphs attempt to evaluate both sides, leading to a limited and partially developed exploration of the topic. For instance, the discussion on advantages relies heavily on repetition of the phrase 'hardwork pays off' rather than extending ideas with deep reasoning or specific real-world examples beyond a generic classroom mention. Similarly, the disadvantage regarding potential health impacts is introduced but remains under-developed, lacking elaboration on why or how children might suffer. To reach a higher level, the writer needs to ensure a consistent, clear position is maintained and provide fully elaborated arguments for both sides rather than looping back to the same foundational idea.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The essay displays a coherent overall arrangement with a discernible attempt to structure the response into an introduction, two body paragraphs covering separate aspects, and a conclusion. Paragraphing is used to separate ideas, which helps the reader follow the general progression from advantages to disadvantages. Nevertheless, cohesion is at times mechanical and repetitive, relying heavily on basic transition markers like 'Firstly', 'Secondly', and 'In conclusion'. Furthermore, referencing is occasionally unclear, such as the pronoun use in phrases like 'these types of messages to the childrens to dont stop', which disrupts the smooth flow of ideas. To improve cohesiveness and move up the scale, the writer should employ a wider and more natural variety of cohesive devices, refine referencing across sentences, and ensure that the logical links between supporting points and main arguments are seamless rather than abrupt.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The vocabulary used is limited and minimally adequate for conveying basic thoughts, containing noticeable errors that draw the reader's attention. Throughout the text, there are persistent word form, spelling, and collocation issues, such as 'childrens' instead of children, 'hardwork' written as a single word repeatedly, and awkward phrasing like 'make ur mind close like a narrow space'. The range of vocabulary is restricted, with frequent repetition of common words such as 'hardwork', 'achieve', and 'goals'. While the message remains generally understandable despite these lexical limitations, the lack of precision and style prevents the writing from achieving a higher band. To elevate the lexical score, the writer needs to expand their range of vocabulary, incorporate appropriate collocations and less common lexical items, and pay closer attention to standard spelling and word forms.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The response employs a limited range of grammatical structures, relying mostly on simple sentences joined by coordinating conjunctions or repetitive clauses. When the writer attempts more complex structures, they are frequently faulty, leading to run-on sentences and punctuation errors, such as 'For example in exams all students which are attempting exam are teached by the same teachers...'. There are frequent errors in verb forms, articles, subject-verb agreement, and prepositions inside grammatical patterns, including 'are teached', 'if u will not give efforts', and 'so their life can be remain balanced'. These frequent errors require the reader to occasionally pause and decipher the meaning. To achieve a stronger grammatical profile, the writer should work on constructing accurate complex sentences, mastering verb tenses and passive voice forms, and improving overall punctuation and sentence boundary control.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.