Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-10-06

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Words of encouragement has been known to help people to be motivated especially the young ones. In some families, young people are usually encouraged through words that they can achieve anything if they work hard for it. Giving these words of encouragement had given a lot of advantages at the same time it vould also have negative impact to children. In this essay, I will discuss both the benefits and consequences of giving children this message.

The primary advantage of giving children this advice is they will learn the sense of independence and achievement. Children will learn to figure out things on their own that could help them reach their goals. This will help them to be independent and learn to fight courageously to pave their endeavors. As a result, they will grow more responsible and always aim for the best.

Despite the advantages of encouraging children to try hard enough, this could also lead a child to be competitive and be hard for themselves. They would add pressure on themselves by working so hard. This pressure could also result to mental health issues and traumas that are not beneficial for their well-being.

In conclusion, telling children to work hard so that they can achieve anything was a good way of encouragement because it will teach a child to be independent and brave to face challenges in the futures before they could taste their victory. However, pushing a child too much to try hard could also have a negative impact on a child's mental health. This pressure could lead to child-hood traumas and unnecessary stress to a child.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

The response successfully addresses all parts of the prompt by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of telling children they can achieve anything. A clear position is maintained throughout the essay. However, some ideas remain slightly under-developed rather than fully extended. For instance, in the second body paragraph, the points regarding independence and responsibility are introduced well, but could benefit from further explanation or a concrete example to fully flesh out how this mindset alters a child's behavior. The conclusion properly summarizes the main points without introducing new information, keeping the focus entirely on the prompt's requirements.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 7.0

The essay presents a clear logical organization and progression throughout. Information and ideas are coherently structured, starting with an introductory paragraph that outlines the essay's intent, moving through distinct body paragraphs covering benefits and drawbacks respectively, and ending with a concise conclusion. Cohesive devices such as 'The primary advantage', 'Despite the advantages', and 'In conclusion' are used effectively to guide the reader through the arguments. Paragraphing is managed logically and appropriately, with each main idea assigned to its own distinct paragraph, ensuring the overall arrangement feels natural and easy to follow.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

The writer demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, successfully attempting less common items such as 'courageously', 'well-being', and 'unnecessary stress'. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice, collocation, and phrasing that prevent the score from being higher. For example, the opening phrase 'Words of encouragement has' contains a subject-verb agreement issue tied to vocabulary expression, and phrases like 'vould' (typographical error), 'pave their endeavors', and 'hard for themselves' sound somewhat unnatural. Spelling and word-choice errors are present, such as 'child-hood', but they do not severely impede communication.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

The essay exhibits a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, demonstrating an attempt to vary sentence structures. There are several grammatical errors present, including tense inconsistencies and preposition misuse, such as 'result to mental health issues' instead of 'result in', and 'in the futures' instead of 'in the future'. Additionally, subject-verb agreement slips occur, such as 'Giving these words of encouragement had given'. Despite these errors, punctuation is generally adequate and the mistakes rarely impede communication, allowing the reader to follow the intended arguments without significant difficulty.

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