Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-10-06

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Achievement are very importans in everyones life, different people feel different for same achievement. One group of community teach their children that if they work heard they can achived anything in thair life. this statment have their own benifits like it motiveting child and drawback such as some time some thing is not cup of tea for individual.

Among all advantages of teachig hardwirking for their goles, one of them is very important that by this advice child try hear and never loose hoap for their goles. Moreover, children are fast learner if we teach heardworking since childhood they can grow batter than others because they have more potential in compre other childrens. For examplae child want te become doctor so he do hard working since early age and acchive his goal.

In contrast, some time the individual is not able to do somthing still he work heard and not achive that so he face disappoitment from his self and depresed. For instansts, if any child not able to study because his brain power is not too sharp at that movement his heard work is not good inough. Hard working is good thing but in good manner if child introduse in wronh ways so it can harm the child and behevior. In some situaton this advice cause psychologycal nagative effect by giving false motivation to the child.

In conclusion, there are some good things withe their nagative effect for counter them parents should teach their child after the working heard if somthing is not achivabaly by them so it's ok, every thing is not possible what we think.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

The response addresses all parts of the prompt by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of telling children they can achieve anything. A clear position is maintained throughout the essay. However, some ideas are under-developed or lack sufficient elaboration, placing the task response at this level. For instance, the advantage of motivation is introduced with relevant concepts like trying hard and not losing hope, but the supporting examples remain brief, such as the single sentence about a child wanting to become a doctor. Similarly, the negative psychological effects are mentioned but lack deep exploration. To reach a higher standard, the writer needs to extend and support all main points with more thorough explanations and fully realized examples rather than superficial arguments.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The essay presents a coherent overall arrangement with a recognizable introduction, body paragraphs addressing each side of the argument, and a conclusion. Information and ideas are generally organized logically. However, cohesion at times feels mechanical or faulty due to awkward transitional phrases and phrasing like 'Among all advantages of teachig hardwirking for their goles'. Referencing is also occasionally unclear, such as pronoun use that leaves the reader working harder to follow the intended connections. Paragraphing is used adequately to separate the distinct points of view, but the internal logical progression within paragraphs needs smoother cohesive ties. To improve, the writer should use a wider variety of cohesive devices more naturally and ensure clear referencing throughout the text.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

The vocabulary used is basic and repetitive, showing an inadequate range for more advanced academic writing. There are numerous spelling and word-choice errors that stem from attempting less common words, such as 'importans' for importance, 'heard' for hard, 'achived' for achieved, 'thair' for their, 'benifits' for benefits, 'motiveting' for motivating, 'goles' for goals, 'hoap' for hope, 'batter' for better, 'compre' for compare, 'exampal' for example, 'somthing' for something, 'disappoitment' for disappointment, 'depresed' for depressed, 'instansts' for instances, 'inough' for enough, 'introduse' for introduced, 'wronh' for wrong, 'behevior' for behavior, 'situaton' for situation, 'psychologycal' for psychological, 'nagative' for negative, 'withe' for with, and 'achivabaly' for achievable. While these persistent errors do not entirely impede communication, they significantly constrain the precision and sophistication of the writing, keeping the lexical score at a basic level.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The essay displays a very limited range of sentence structures, relying heavily on simple sentences with frequent structural errors. There are numerous issues with verb forms, subject-verb agreement, plurals, and articles, such as 'Achievement are very importans', 'this statment have their own benifits', 'child try hear', 'children are fast learner', 'if any child not able to study', and 'every thing is not possible what we think'. Punctuation is also weak, with run-on sentences and comma splices, such as joining independent clauses without proper coordination. While a mix of simple and emerging complex structures is attempted, the frequent grammatical errors across basic patterns restrict the writing. To progress, the student must focus on mastering fundamental grammatical accuracy, agreement, and sentence boundaries.

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