Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-10-06

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 6.0)

It is very important to advise and motivate children to achieve certain goals in their lives. This can be very helpful for children as they grow in their careers, and it can also encourage them to work hard to achieve success. If children work hard, they can achieve many things in their lives that they desire. Hard work is a key to success.

Telling children that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough can motivate and encourage them to work hard to achieve their goals. Meanwhile, this message can also give children a sense of belief that their parents, relatives, and role models are with them. Moreover, this message can give them hope. If children are not encouraged during their childhood, they may become depressed, lose hope, and feel that no one is there to support them.

However, there are also disadvantages to this approach. If children are constantly told by their parents, elders, or role models that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough, this can put pressure on them to achieve something, which may not be good for their mental health. If they are continuously told to achieve certain goals, this can lead children to take the wrong steps because of feelings of guilt or failure.

In general, we should give this message to children in a way that does not make them feel pressured but instead gives them encouragement and hope. We should also be friendly and supportive towards children so that they feel comfortable sharing everything with us.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

The response addresses all parts of the task by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of telling children they can achieve anything. However, the length requirement is NOT met: the response contains 236 words, falling 14 words short of the 250-word minimum (20 words copied from the prompt were not counted). While the ideas are relevant, some parts are under-developed or repetitive. For instance, the discussion on advantages largely restates the idea of motivation and support without exploring varied aspects like resilience or ambition. The position is generally clear throughout, but the limited depth and failure to meet the minimum word count prevent a higher score.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The essay presents a coherent overall arrangement with a clear logical flow from the introduction to the advantages, disadvantages, and conclusion. Paragraphing is used sufficiently and appropriately, with each paragraph focusing on a distinct aspect of the prompt. However, cohesion is sometimes mechanical or repetitive, as seen in the frequent reliance on transitional phrases like 'If children...' and 'Moreover'. Referencing is generally clear, but the overall progression could be smoother with more varied cohesive devices rather than repeating similar sentence openings across paragraphs.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

The vocabulary is adequate for the task, demonstrating an attempt to use less common items such as 'depressed', 'guilt', and 'supportive'. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation, along with a somewhat repetitive use of basic words like 'children', 'achieve', and 'goals'. For example, phrases such as 'take the wrong steps' are understandable but lack precision and stylistic sophistication. While these limitations and minor lexical errors do not impede communication, the range remains restricted and lacks the flexibility and precision required for higher bands.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

The writer uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, demonstrating control over basic sentence structures. There are examples of complex clauses, such as conditional sentences ('If children are not encouraged during their childhood, they may become depressed...'). Some errors in grammar and punctuation exist, particularly in repetitive sentence patterns and occasionally awkward phrasing, but they rarely impede communication. The majority of simple sentences are accurate, but a wider variety of complex structures deployed with greater frequency and error-free control is needed to progress further.

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