Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-10-06

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 5.0)

In many countries of the world, people are told the young children if they work hand and try they can achieve anything in some culture. Although some might consider it negative, I believe it to be extremely beneficial. Not only because of self confidence improve and not loss hope, but also because of financial benefit.

There are multiple advantage associated with try hard work. Firstly, improve self confidence can be considered as a leading benefit of this development. As children work hard and try to get their achieve they thought they do every thing they wanted. Take an example, in Germany, many societies develop a culture that they told children they achieve every thing they wanted if they work hard and this thing help children to develop s self confidence. Thus, this mega benefit I believe has the potential to make this development a positive development.

Secondly, apart from self improvement, not loss hope can also be another major advantage of this. As children work hard and try to achieve his goal they did not loss hope of his success. For instance, the government of Japan, seem those children did not loss hope who family told that they achieve everything they want. Hence, not loss hope can be labelled as the most significant advantages, giving this development a positive outlook.

Finally, financial benefit can also be considered a leading benefit of this development. As they success in work they get more money and improve they financial situation.

To sum up, even though try hard work might have some drawback too, but I believe that the benefit it bring in term of self confidence improve, not loss hope and financial benefit can make this development an overall positive one.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

The response addresses the prompt only partially, fulfilling the requirement to discuss the advantages of giving children this message, but largely neglecting the disadvantages. Although the conclusion briefly mentions that the message might have 'some drawback too,' these disadvantages are never actually identified, explained, or explored in the body paragraphs. Consequently, the position is not fully clear across the entire essay, and the ideas presented are somewhat limited and repetitive, focusing predominantly on self-confidence and motivation. To move to a higher band, the writer must ensure that all parts of the task—both advantages and disadvantages—are addressed with equal weight, and that ideas are fully developed with relevant examples rather than generalized assertions.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response demonstrates a coherent overall arrangement with a clear attempt to structure the essay into an introduction, distinct body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate different main ideas, such as self-confidence and financial benefits. However, cohesion at times feels mechanical and repetitive, relying heavily on basic transitional markers like 'Firstly,' 'Secondly,' and 'Finally,' alongside repetitive phrasing such as 'leading benefit of this development.' Referencing and substitution are occasionally faulty, leading to minor clarity issues in how ideas flow from one sentence to the next. To achieve a higher band, the writer should employ a wider and more flexible range of cohesive devices and ensure smoother progression between sentences and paragraphs without relying on formulaic transitions.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The lexical resource is limited but minimally adequate to convey the basic message. The vocabulary used is often repetitive, relying on terms like 'development,' 'benefit,' and 'work hard' throughout the response. There are noticeable lexical errors in word choice, collocation, and word form, such as 'try hard work' instead of 'hard work,' 'not loss hope' instead of 'not losing hope,' and 'they financial situation' instead of 'their financial situation.' These inaccuracies occasionally cause some difficulty for the reader. To improve to a higher band, the writer needs to expand their vocabulary range, demonstrate better control of word forms and collocations, and minimize spelling and lexical errors that detract from the overall clarity of the writing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The response displays a limited range of grammatical structures, relying mostly on basic sentence patterns with frequent attempts at complex sentences that are often faulty. There are persistent errors in verb forms, tense consistency, subject-verb agreement, and prepositions, such as 'people are told the young children,' 'improve self confidence,' and 'children work hard and try to get their achieve.' Punctuation and article usage are also inconsistent. These frequent errors require the reader to occasionally decode the intended meaning. To reach a higher band, the writer must produce a greater variety of error-free complex sentences and exercise tighter control over basic grammatical rules, particularly regarding verb complementation and clause structures.

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