Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-10-06

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Nowadays, working hard in children has become increasely comman in many part of the world. Athrough, This development has some adavantages. it also has some drawbacks. This essay will discuss positive and negative aspects of child hard working.

One advantage of hard working is it provides a motivition to children. When a children achieve a one task through hard this result motivites us. and he try to more hard working in next tas. For example, a ten grade student give his all attention study for acquire a good grade in board exam and he achieve his goal through hardworking. Another benefit of hardworking is kid always feel confident, whenever he face any difficult challenge she stay confident and try his best to smtackle this problem such as, a student who successfuly tackle cyber attack.

Hardworking has several drawbacks, one negative aspect is it cause a stress, a child always working hard, her body and brain require rest he did not give proper rest to her brain which cause anxiety. For instance, a university student face depression beacause he always give his attention study and her mind fell into stress due not proper relaxation. Another disadvantage is he fell into disblief. if a child dis achieve his goal also he give his all attention to achieve this goal, this failure cause disblief and he never try hard work in future.

In conclusion, hardworking provide a motivition to chlid and also make a person is confident. but in some time it cause stress and diablief. In my view it advantages outweigh the disadvantages.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

The response addresses the prompt by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of telling children they can achieve anything through hard work, maintaining a clear position that the advantages outweigh the drawbacks. However, some ideas are under-developed or lack full clarity. For instance, the discussion on confidence introduces an abrupt and slightly disconnected example about cyber attacks, and the conclusion mentions disbelief without sufficient prior exploration. The points presented are relevant to the topic, but the development of arguments tends to be limited rather than fully extended, which keeps the response at this level. To reach higher bands, the writer should ensure every main idea is supported with deeper explanations and more cohesive, highly relevant examples rather than shifting to overly specific or disjointed scenarios.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The essay displays a coherent overall arrangement with a clear introduction, body paragraphs addressing advantages and disadvantages separately, and a concluding statement. Paragraphing is used adequately to structure the discussion. However, cohesion is sometimes faulty or mechanical. The writer relies heavily on basic transitions such as 'Another benefit' and 'Another disadvantage', and referencing is occasionally unclear, such as the sudden pronoun shifts between plural and singular forms when referring to children. Furthermore, logical progression within sentences is disrupted by mechanical linking errors, such as starting a new sentence with 'and he try to more hard working in next tas.' To improve, the writer needs to employ a wider range of cohesive devices more naturally and ensure smoother transitions between sentences and ideas.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The vocabulary used is adequate for communicating basic points about the topic, but the range is limited and contains frequent noticeable errors in word choice, spelling, and word formation. Examples include 'increasely comman', 'motivition', 'hardworking' used incorrectly as a noun phrase in places, and 'disblief'. The writer attempts less common vocabulary such as 'cyber attack' and 'depression', but inaccuracies in spelling and collocations occasionally cause difficulty for the reader. To achieve a higher band, the student must expand their lexical repertoire, pay closer attention to word forms, and reduce spelling errors by carefully editing their work to ensure greater precision and appropriateness.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The text demonstrates a very limited range of sentence structures, relying mostly on simple sentences alongside poorly controlled attempts at complex forms. Frequent errors are present across basic grammar categories, including subject-verb agreement ('a children achieve', 'kid always feel'), tense consistency ('he did not give', 'he fell into'), articles ('give his all attention study'), and pronoun-antecedent agreement ('her body and brain... her mind'). These frequent errors and faulty complex structures often cause difficulty for the reader and obscure the intended meaning. To progress, the writer needs to focus on mastering fundamental grammatical rules, improving punctuation, and constructing accurate, varied sentence patterns with correct clause coordination.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.