Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-10-06

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 5.0)

In numerous cultures, childern are encouraged to achieve their goals with sufficient effort. The accelerating pace of achievements has reshaped the way childern struggle, making this matter increasingly difficult to overlook. While this message can be empowering, encouraging hard work and resilience, it also has drawbacks, perticularly when they fail to reach their objectives despite their best efforts.

On the one hand, it brings numerous benefits for childern, when they are encouraged to attain their goals. This will be beneficial for the both youngers and society. It strenghten their personality and confidence. For instance, if childern should are taught that the biggest obstacle in not the difficulty of task itself, but the lack of confidence they have in their abilities, so this will boost their enternal soul to accumplish their dreams with great assurance and positive attitude, which is crucial for their long-term success.

Additionally, one key benefit of this belief is that this will empower childern to work hard and get success in their life. When youngers are taught that efforts are the cornerstone of success, they will struggle more to achieve their aims. Such as, they study extra hours to perform well in exam or strive to excel in extracurricular activities

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

The response recognises that the message can be empowering and begins to explain benefits such as confidence, resilience and effort. However, it addresses the task only partially: the disadvantages are mentioned briefly in the introduction (“when they fail to reach their objectives”) but are not developed in the body, and there is no concluding judgement. The benefits are also asserted more than explained; for example, the claim that confidence is crucial for long-term success needs a clearer explanation or a specific, relevant example. The response contains 203 words, so it does not meet the 250-word minimum. To improve, develop at least one disadvantage—such as disappointment or self-blame when effort does not lead to success—and support both sides with fuller examples.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

There is a recognisable structure: an introduction is followed by two paragraphs presenting advantages, and signposting such as “On the one hand” and “Additionally” helps identify the direction of the discussion. The ideas within the first body paragraph also move from confidence to possible success. However, the overall progression is incomplete because the essay does not develop the disadvantages promised in the introduction or provide a conclusion. Some links are awkward or unclear: “This will be beneficial for the both youngers and society” does not clearly connect to the next claim, while “Such as” introduces an example as a fragment rather than integrating it into a sentence. Organise the response into a clear discussion of advantages and disadvantages, use complete example sentences, and finish by summarising the main points.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

The response attempts a range of topic-related vocabulary, including “resilience,” “objectives,” “cornerstone of success” and “extracurricular activities.” These choices show an effort to express ideas beyond very basic language. However, inaccurate spelling and word choice are noticeable and sometimes make the reader pause: “childern,” “perticularly,” “strenghten,” “enternal soul” and “accumplish” are examples. Some expressions are also unnatural or imprecise, such as “the accelerating pace of achievements” and “youngers.” Aim for accurate, natural collocations and check spelling carefully. For instance, “children,” “particularly,” “strengthen,” “inner confidence” and “accomplish” would communicate the intended ideas more clearly; “young people” is preferable to “youngers.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

The response attempts both simple and more complex sentence forms, including a concessive opening (“While this message can be empowering…”) and a conditional example beginning “if children…”. This shows some range, but control is uneven. In “if childern should are taught,” the modal and verb forms are combined incorrectly, and the sentence then adds “so,” making the conditional structure difficult to follow. “It strenghten their personality” also has a subject–verb agreement error, while “for the both youngers” has an article and determiner problem. The final example, “Such as, they study extra hours…,” is not a complete sentence. Practise building clear conditional sentences and check agreement, articles and sentence boundaries; shorter, accurate sentences would make the ideas easier to understand.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.