Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-10-07

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Advantages :

When children are told that they can achieve anything if they try hard it would help them make their roadmap clear, stick to a thing and do hard work for achieving it. They will know for the fact that trying hard is the best way to achieve something and hence they will not try to find shortcuts, lazy methods. They will set a goal and align their lives with that goal trying hard for it.On their journey of trying hard, they will encounter various distractions but their internal motivation and understanding of the fact that they can achieve anything if they try hard will help them avoid distractions and continue their work and show up each day. It would overall make them resilient in face of adversity and would help them excel in life.

Disadvantages :

Along with advantages of this brainfeeding, ther are disadvantages linked with it too, for example faliures; if they work hard but are still unable to achieve their destination due to any unavoidable circumstances it would cause damaging effects on their physical and mental health. They may give up at some stage during their journey when they do not see their hard work being paid off, however failures, and downs are part of a great journey, they can not be skipped. Since their mind had registered that through trying hard anything is possible they would not forgive themselves if failure occurs and would cause depression in them, undermining their own worth in their eyes and considering themselves as complete failure. In journey of achieving something great by trying hard, they may lose human relationships ike spending time with friends and will isolate them socially.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

The response addresses both sides of the question and stays focused on the effects of telling children that effort can make anything achievable. The advantages are relevant: the message may encourage goal-setting, persistence and resilience. The disadvantages also include meaningful consequences, particularly self-blame after failure and social isolation. However, some points are asserted rather than fully explained. For example, the claim that children will avoid “lazy methods” is not clearly distinguished from the broader point about persistence, while the effects on physical health are mentioned without showing how they might arise. Develop each main idea with a clearer explanation or example, and acknowledge that effort cannot overcome every external limitation, to make the discussion more balanced and complete.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a clear overall arrangement: advantages are presented first, followed by disadvantages, and ideas within each section generally progress from the message to its possible effects. Phrases such as “On their journey” and “Since their mind had registered” help connect claims to consequences. However, the headings and long blocks of text make the organisation feel somewhat mechanical, and several ideas are crowded into extended sentences. The transition “however failures, and downs” is also awkwardly punctuated and does not clearly show the relationship between the ideas. Use separate, developed paragraphs for the main points and vary linking methods so that connections are clear without relying on repeated journey-related phrasing.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a relevant range of vocabulary, including “internal motivation,” “resilient,” “adversity,” and “undermining their own worth,” which helps express both benefits and risks. There are also attempts at less common expressions, but some choices are inaccurate or unnatural: “brainfeeding” does not fit this context, “faliures” is misspelled, and “destination” is an awkward substitute for a goal or outcome. Phrases such as “show up each day” and “paid off” are understandable but informal for an academic essay. Aim for more precise, natural collocations and check spelling carefully; this would make the argument sound more controlled while retaining its clear meaning.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

The response includes both simple statements and longer complex sentences, for example the sentence beginning “Since their mind had registered…” links a cause to its consequences. Meaning is generally clear, but some grammatical and punctuation errors remain. In “When children are told that they can achieve anything if they try hard it would help them,” the conditional structure is inconsistent; use “When children are told…, this can help them…” or “If children are told…, it can help them…”. The sentence beginning “if they work hard but are still unable…” also needs clearer punctuation and sentence boundaries. There are further issues with articles and number, as in “considering themselves as complete failure.” Review conditional forms, article use and punctuation in long sentences to improve accuracy.

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