Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-10-07

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 5.5)

It is increasingly common that children are often told that they can achieve anything in thier life if they try hard and gives a significant amount of time. While this development offers several advantages, it also has some drawbacks that should be consider.

One major advantage for this development is that when children are working independantly without any pressure they can perforam well. When children have a freedom to make thier choises in particular area, where they are interested they can perform well. For example, if a chaild want to parsue their education in medical field, their parents allow them instead of putting pressure for some thing else. They might be perform well because they work hard and study willingly in this particular field. Therefore, freedom allow children to choose their field where they are interested and it can be beneficial for them.

On the other hand, there are some drawback for this particuller trend. If parents do not control their children some time they involve in negative activities. For instance, a child do not have a parential control in their life, child may be involve in some other activities. They can participate in some criminal activities. Therefore, in some case parents should investigate whether their children are foucing to thier work or not.

In conclusion, children freedom offer several benefits, particularly they can choose their area of study where they are interested and perform well. But it also has drawbacks, such as children might be involve in other negative activities. Therefore, both the positive and negative aspects of this development should be consider.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You address both advantages and disadvantages, and your position is broadly clear: freedom to choose an area of study can help children work willingly, while insufficient parental oversight may expose them to harmful activities. However, the response only partially develops the task. The main advantage is explained through a medical-study example, but it focuses more on freedom of choice than on the message that effort can lead to achievement. The disadvantage is also asserted rather than fully explained: the link between being told they can achieve anything and becoming involved in criminal activities is unclear. Develop each side with a direct explanation of how the message affects children, and support the disadvantage with a more relevant consequence, such as unrealistic expectations or disappointment when effort does not guarantee success.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a coherent overall arrangement: an introduction, separate paragraphs for advantages and disadvantages, and a conclusion. Signposting such as “On the other hand” and “In conclusion” helps readers follow the broad structure. However, progression within paragraphs is sometimes mechanical, with repeated “Therefore” statements that restate rather than extend the point. Some references are also unclear; for example, “this development” and “they” do not always make the precise idea or person being discussed obvious. The example about parental control shifts away from the central message about effort, which weakens the connection between ideas. To improve, use clearer links between claim, explanation, and example, and ensure each paragraph develops one aspect of the prompt.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use enough topic-related vocabulary to communicate the main ideas, including “freedom,” “pressure,” “parents,” and “criminal activities.” However, the range is limited and several noticeable spelling and word-choice errors make the writing less clear or natural. Examples include “independantly,” “choises,” “parential control,” and “foucing,” while phrases such as “freedom allow children” and “some drawback” show inaccurate word forms or collocations. Repetition of “perform well” and “interested” also limits precision. Build a more varied set of expressions for effort, expectations, and outcomes, and check spelling and common word partnerships. More accurate choices such as “parental supervision” and “pursue a career in medicine” would make your ideas clearer.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and complex sentence forms, including a conditional structure in “If parents do not control their children…” and a relative clause in “where they are interested.” However, attempts at longer sentences are often faulty, and errors in verb forms, agreement, articles, and sentence construction can make the reader pause. For example, “a child want” should use a singular verb, “they might be perform well” has an incorrect verb pattern, and “freedom allow” has a subject–verb agreement error. The opening sentence also combines structures awkwardly. Practise building accurate sentences with one main clause and a clear supporting clause, then check agreement and verb patterns, such as “might perform well” and “parents allow them to pursue…”

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