Band 4.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.0 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-10-07

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 4.0)

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough.the advantage of giving children is very well. in the asian areas this type of person is very important because the old person has worked in day and night.choildren are often told work is the beneficial thing in every ares of world .study are close in one or two month in one year and work are never soon close in one a day in one year. work , struggle are important think in every opf culture while a study .if children in his childhood he work alot of time are doing when in his young time he is a greastest business in abroad because the abroad country says that who person is very bonifibe who are doing work had. In the other hand , these people are seriously wrong because study is very important rathar than work.those person are doing study is very hard times who are very advanced business in every city in the world .this talk about say thestudy are more important than chilhood work.In my oppion, some cultures are wrong who children are often told that they can achieve anything if they tryu hard enough because you got up in study and business very well who are not better business is doing work.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.5

You attempt to discuss both an advantage and a disadvantage, and your final sentence signals a personal view. However, the response only partially addresses the question: the advantage is difficult to identify clearly, and the discussion shifts between hard work, studying, and business rather than explaining what may happen when children are told they can achieve anything through effort. The claim that children may become successful businesspeople is not supported with a clear example, while the disadvantage that study is more important does not directly explain a drawback of the message. The response is also 55 words below the 250-word minimum; 28 words copied from the task prompt were not counted. Develop one relevant advantage and one disadvantage, explain each, and support them with specific examples.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 3.5

There is a basic attempt to organise the response: “In the other hand” introduces a contrasting point, and “In my opinion” signals a conclusion. These markers show some awareness of how to connect ideas. However, the response is presented as one long paragraph, and the progression is difficult to follow because ideas move abruptly from work to study, then to business and culture. Connections such as “study is very important rather than work” are not explained, so the reader cannot see how they support the main argument. Use separate paragraphs for the advantage, disadvantage, and conclusion, and make each paragraph develop one central point in a clear sequence.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.0

You use a small number of topic-related words, including “achieve,” “struggle,” “study,” and “business,” and attempt phrases such as “in the other hand” to express contrast. However, vocabulary is basic and repetitive, and frequent inaccurate word choices or forms make several ideas hard to understand. For example, “the advantage … is very well” does not clearly state an advantage, while “who person is very bonifibe” obscures the intended meaning. Spelling errors such as “choildren,” “rathar,” and “tryu” also reduce clarity. Build a more precise set of expressions for effort, outcomes, and pressure, and check spelling and collocations before submitting.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You make some attempts to form longer sentences and express contrast, for example, “In the other hand, these people are seriously wrong because study is very important…” This shows an effort to connect clauses rather than relying only on isolated statements. However, sentence structures are often incomplete or difficult to control, and errors in agreement, verb forms, articles, and punctuation frequently interrupt the message. Examples include “study are close,” “work are never soon close,” and “if children in his childhood he work alot of time.” Capitalisation and sentence boundaries are also inconsistent. Practise building clear subject–verb sentences first, then combine them with accurate “because,” “if,” and contrast clauses.

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