Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-10-07

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 6.0)

First of all, all cultures are different and every children has a different education and values from their family/parents.

First, i will explain the advantages of saying to a children that if he’s trying hard enough he’ll achieve anything and in the part, I will explain the disadvantages of giving children this message.

As a kid, you learn from your parents and your close members how life is. You build your own vision of life and values from what your parents taught you while you were child. For me, giving the message to try hard to achieve anything is a good thing for having a strong character and personality. You will learn how to never give up, you will try your best in every category of life and you will build a competitive personality. Trying hard since you’re young helps you to not be scared of trying something new, that will give you the confidence and the motivation to achieve what you want. For example, looking for your first job when you just graduate and you have no experiences can be hard, you have to show to the companies that you will be a good worker and learner if they hire you. A kid with the mindset of trying hard to achieving anything will be able to found a job easier than a kid that didn’t have this mindset since his childhood.

But, in main time, I’ll say that having this mentality is also a disadvantage because that put you a lot of pressure to do your best and trying hard for everything. If I take the same example as my first paragraph, if the person get denied to every single job, he’ll be on a bad mood and maybe get into a depression for no achieving that task in his life. He will get stuck in this situation and start thinking that he can’t achieve anything now because he’s not trying hard enough. This message and mindset give you a lot of pressure and stress that turn into depression, or loneliness because you are too focus on achieving everything that you forgot to make friends, talking to people and making some fun activities without thinking that you need to achieve this.

In conclusion, for me, having this message while you are a kid is good to build your personality and having a strong mindset but I think the parents need to give another message that says that it’s understandable and okay to not achieving everything and trying hard everyday, that enjoying life without having this competitive part is also part of the life.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

You address both advantages and disadvantages and maintain a clear overall view: encouragement can build confidence and persistence, but parents should also teach children that not every goal is achievable. The examples about job-seeking and the pressure of repeated rejection make the discussion relevant. This meets the task well, though some ideas are more fully explained than others. For instance, the link between childhood encouragement and finding a job “easier” is asserted rather than demonstrated, and the disadvantages focus mainly on stress and social isolation. To develop the response further, explain more precisely how the message can create unrealistic expectations, and qualify claims about its effects rather than presenting them as inevitable.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, separate paragraphs for benefits and drawbacks, and a conclusion that brings the two sides together. Signposts such as “First” and “But” help readers follow the main contrast. However, progression within paragraphs is sometimes difficult to track, and several transitions feel mechanical. The opening repeats “First” and includes a confusing reference to “the part”; the shift from childhood values to job applications also needs a clearer link. Some sentences contain several ideas joined by “and,” which weakens the flow. Use topic sentences that state each paragraph’s main point, then organise supporting explanation and examples in a clear sequence, with more precise referencing.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use enough vocabulary to discuss motivation, employment, and emotional effects, including “confidence,” “motivation,” “competitive personality,” and “pressure.” These choices make the main ideas understandable. However, the range is limited in places, and several word choices or collocations sound unnatural or imprecise, such as “close members,” “in every category of life,” “on a bad mood,” and “make some fun activities.” Repetition of “trying hard,” “message,” and “achieve” also reduces flexibility. Build a wider set of natural expressions for persistence, expectations, and setbacks, and check whether phrases are idiomatic in context. More precise vocabulary would help distinguish healthy perseverance from excessive pressure.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and complex sentences, including conditional forms such as “if the person get denied to every single job” and clauses explaining consequences. This gives the response some structural variety, and the overall meaning is generally recoverable. However, errors in agreement, verb forms, articles, and sentence construction recur. Examples include “every children has,” “if he’s trying hard enough,” “that put you a lot of pressure,” and “you forgot to make friends.” Some long sentences also join several clauses without clear punctuation, as in the discussion of confidence and trying new things. Review subject–verb agreement and verb patterns, and divide longer sentences so that each relationship between ideas is clear.

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