Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-10-07

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 5.5)

There is no denying the fact that children are often encouraged by saying that they can achiee everything if they do hard work in their life. There are multifarious benefits and drawbacks of giving this message to young ones which will be explained along with reasonable in the upcoming paragraphs.

To commence with the primary benefit of saying juveniles that if they do hard work they can achieve anything in their life. In other words, majority of parents motivate their children by telling them that if they put lots of efforts for getting their desired outcomes then their hardwork always pay off since if a children are really pushing themselves more towards their goals then they can get everything ini the life. For instance, famous sports men always undergone through hard trainings to attain position in sports which iis possiblefor them only if they are try hard enough.

Moreover, when children are encouraged in such way then they will never give up in their life and always learn how to cope up with the hurdles that they face while achieving their goals. It also proves advantageous for them as well in their upcoming future since they will realise that there is nothing that is impossible as everything can be achieved easily by putting morev efforts. Thus, youngsters in their initial life learn the skill of never giving up in the childhood.

However, the drawbacks associated with this aspect cannot be neglected which is sometimes it might demotivates children when they doreally hard but might be unable to compete themselves. More specifically, there are somethings which are beyond the control of a person as every individual has different potential due to which they might be felt dishearted when became unable to achieve everything that they want to do in their life. For example, after multiple attempts in competitive exams individuals may feel discouraged that they could achieve everything just by doing hard work. Additionally, it may create a spirit of not doing hard work among youngsters despite being unsuccessful for multiple times.

In conclusion, no doubt individuals can easily get whatever they want in their life by trying hard enough, however not all the things could be easily get as every one has different capabilities or might be it is beyond their control.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

The response addresses both advantages and disadvantages and maintains a relevant position: encouragement can build persistence, but the message may discourage children when effort does not lead to success. The points about coping with hurdles and feeling disheartened after repeated exam attempts are pertinent. However, some ideas are more fully explained than others. The benefits are repeated in several forms, while the final drawback—that children may stop working hard after repeated failure—is introduced but not clearly explained or supported. The conclusion also makes a broad claim that people can get whatever they want, which sits uneasily beside the limitations discussed. Develop each main point with a clearer explanation of its consequences and keep the final position consistent.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The essay has a clear overall arrangement: an introduction, two paragraphs on benefits, a paragraph on drawbacks, and a conclusion. The progression from motivation to persistence and then to possible disappointment is easy to follow. Linking expressions such as “Moreover,” “However,” and “In conclusion” help signal these stages, and the example about competitive exams supports the shift to disadvantages. To make the organisation more effective, avoid repeating the same benefit across the first two body paragraphs; give each paragraph a distinct focus. Some connections are also mechanical or unclear, particularly “which is sometimes it might demotivates children,” and the final sentence combines several ideas without a precise relationship. Clearer referencing and more natural transitions would strengthen cohesion.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The response shows some range through terms such as “hurdles,” “potential,” “competitive exams,” and “discouraged,” and the reader can generally understand the intended ideas. However, vocabulary control is uneven, with noticeable spelling, word-form, and collocation problems. Examples include “achiee,” “hardwork,” “dishearted,” and “hard trainings”; phrases such as “saying juveniles” and “cope up with” are also unnatural. Repeated reliance on “achieve,” “hard work,” and “life” limits precision and flexibility. Choose vocabulary that fits the context naturally, check spelling and word forms carefully, and use more precise expressions for effort, ability, and setbacks rather than repeating the same terms.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The essay attempts both simple and complex sentences, including conditional clauses such as “if they put lots of efforts…” and a concession introduced by “however.” These attempts show some structural range, but control is inconsistent and errors sometimes make sentences difficult to process. For example, “if a children are really pushing themselves” has problems with agreement, while “it might demotivates children” uses an incorrect verb form. The sentence beginning “To commence with the primary benefit…” is a fragment, and “which is sometimes it might…” has an unclear clause structure. Work on complete sentence construction, subject–verb agreement, articles, and verb forms. Breaking long sentences into clearer units will also help accuracy.

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