Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-10-07

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Recently is has been observed in many culture that elders giving advice to youngsters about if they work hard they will get anything they want in their life. This message has both positive and negative aspects. The following paragraph will discuss both the merits and demerits before reaching conclusion.

A major benfit of having this type mindset is youngster get motivated and they start to work hard. They start to focus in studies to get good marks or it they want to achive there career in sports they practice a lot. As a result students gets good marks in studies and good results in sports too. Moreover, They can to get distracted by other things in there life. For instant, I saw many youngster does not have their routine they distracted by many other things like mobile gaming, social media scrolling exectra. As a result this thing lead them to lack of concentration, less efforts and make them lazy.

Despite this benefits, it has certain drawbacks like they did not understant the exact meaning of that advice they think like we do not have any other option than this achivement. Due to this pressure many students suffer from various mental condition like anxiety and depression. For instant some parent told there kid after finishing schooling that you have to get in top university for higher study, so you to work hard on study. As result some students get admission in that university but their are limited seats so some do not get and they end up with overthinking, self-doubt.

Overall, while there are some disadvantages for this statement, the advantages makes this a positive development.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You address both advantages and disadvantages and give a clear overall view that the benefits outweigh the drawbacks. The examples about working towards good marks or sporting success, and the pressure of aiming for a top university, are relevant to the question. However, the discussion is only partly developed: the first paragraph shifts from motivation to distraction without clearly explaining how the message itself helps children avoid distractions. The disadvantage is more clearly linked to the message, but the consequences and the example could be explained further. To strengthen the response, make each main point explicit, show how it follows from telling children that effort can achieve anything, and develop the final judgement with a reasoned comparison of the two sides.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, separate paragraphs for advantages and disadvantages, and a concluding opinion. Linking expressions such as “Moreover,” “Despite this benefits,” and “Overall” help signal the direction of the discussion. However, progression within the first body paragraph is unclear: the move from motivation to students being distracted does not show how the ideas connect. Some references, including “this thing” and “this statement,” are vague, and the conclusion repeats the position without drawing together the main points. Use clearer topic sentences and connect each example directly to the point it supports. More precise referencing and a logical link between each sentence would make the organisation easier to follow.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant vocabulary for the topic, including “motivated,” “concentration,” “anxiety,” “depression,” and “self-doubt.” These choices help communicate the main ideas, but the range is limited and several phrases are inaccurate or repetitive, which sometimes makes the meaning less clear. For example, “get anything they want” is an imprecise way to express the message, while “various mental condition” and “lack of concentration, less efforts” show problems with word form or collocation. Spelling errors such as “benfit,” “achive,” and “understant” are also noticeable. Build a bank of accurate phrases for effort, achievement, expectations, and pressure, and check spelling and collocations when editing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and longer sentences, including cause-and-effect structures such as “As a result…” and a contrast introduced by “Despite…”. However, the range is limited, and errors occur frequently in basic sentence patterns, verb forms, agreement, articles, and punctuation. Examples include “elders giving advice,” “youngster get motivated,” “students gets,” and “some parent told there kid.” The sentence “Moreover, They can to get distracted” is difficult to interpret because its structure is faulty. These errors sometimes make the reader pause, even though the main message is generally recoverable. Practise accurate subject–verb patterns and past-tense forms, then proofread each sentence for a complete verb structure before adding more complex clauses.

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