Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-10-07

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 6.5)

There are some cultures in which children are told that if they are firm in their decisions, they can achieve anything. All they need to do is try harder. The point of trying harder has its own advantages, but it comes with its own cost.

Children who are frequently taught that they can achieve anything if they work hard have more chances to achieve great things in life. It creates consistency in children because they believe that if they try hard enough, they will achieve their dream. For instance, an English player, Jamie Vardy, worked in a factory till he was 23. He still played football at non-league level after being told that he will never play professional football. Jamie Vardy won the Premier League at the age of 29 years old because he believed that if he worked hard enough he would succeed in life.

On the other hand, teaching children that anything is achievable if they work hard enough has its own negative impact. The same consistency can be turned into stubbornness as well. In life not everything is possible through hard work alone. Some things require luck and talent as well. Many students work hard to pass the central superior service exam of Pakistan. However, due to limited allocations, most of the students either fail the exam or could not get allocated. Some of the students waste many years of their lives trying to achieve it. In the end, they are left with disappointment and not many career choices. This is the real cost of teaching our children that they can achieve anything if they work hard enough.

In conclusion, telling your children that anything is achievable through effort has its advantages, as it makes them consistent and hard workers. The disadvantage is that it doesn't teach the children when to let things go.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

The response addresses both the advantages and disadvantages and maintains a clear position: effort can build persistence, but the message may encourage children to continue pursuing unattainable goals. The Jamie Vardy example supports the benefit, while the Pakistan examination example illustrates the cost. These relevant examples help the discussion meet the task well. However, some points are more fully explained than others: the first example shows persistence and success, but the essay does not explore how children might apply this lesson beyond achievement in sport. The disadvantage is clearer, though the claim that luck and talent are necessary could be explained further. More balanced development and a little more qualification would make the ideas more complete.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The essay has a coherent overall arrangement: an introduction, a paragraph for each side, and a conclusion that restates the central contrast. Signposts such as “On the other hand” and “In conclusion” make the progression easy to follow, and the examples are placed in the relevant paragraphs. Some cohesion is nevertheless mechanical, particularly the repeated use of “work hard enough” and “consistency.” The opening also repeats the idea of trying harder across two consecutive sentences. In the examination example, “Some of the students” and “they” are understandable, but the relationship between the students who fail and those who are not allocated could be made more precise. Varying transitions and using clearer references would strengthen the flow.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

Vocabulary is adequate for discussing effort, persistence, achievement, and disappointment, and phrases such as “limited allocations” and “career choices” help convey the examination example. The writer also attempts topic-relevant expressions such as “stubbornness” and “non-league level.” However, some wording is imprecise or repetitive: “creates consistency in children” does not naturally express the intended idea, and “its own cost” is less idiomatic than a direct reference to drawbacks. Repeated use of “achieve” and “work hard” also limits flexibility. More precise collocations and a wider range of terms for persistence, realistic expectations, and setbacks would improve clarity and control.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

The response uses a mix of simple and complex forms, including conditional clauses (“if they work hard enough”) and a contrastive structure beginning “On the other hand.” Most sentences communicate the intended meaning, but some grammatical errors remain. In “after being told that he will never play,” the tense should be backshifted to “would never play” to match the past narrative. “Jamie Vardy won the Premier League at the age of 29 years old” combines two age constructions; use either “at the age of 29” or “when he was 29.” The phrase “could not get allocated” also needs a clearer grammatical construction, such as “were not allocated positions.” Greater consistency in tense and more careful sentence editing would improve accuracy.

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